Hello all, I’m quite new to this & im trying to sign up to forums that work best for me. I am actually a partner to someone who has a young daughter who is now 6, who he hasn’t seen for 1.5 years. When I met him 4 years ago, everything was fine with his ex and she wasn’t too difficult, as we started living together she made it extremely difficult for us to have the little one and took my partner to court. Long story short but he is now only speaking to her via letters due to a non contact order and is struggling to finance going back to court.
even though I only knew his daughter for 2 years before this all happened, it feels like a huge loss to myself as well and I’ve found it really difficult to come to terms with the fact we don’t see her and it’s quite emotional to talk about her in the house and really hard to write letters to her. I obviously do want to get him back to court and get her back but we don’t have money and it’s causing us to argue and have difficulties in our relationship. Not only that, we find it hard to talk about our future of having children of our own because of the uncertainty around getting her back.
how do we move forward and help each other talk about it more? I find myself feeling really emotional, like it’s my own child I don’t see and I miss her so much. I never acted like her mum or took that place, but I feel like I take on mine and my partners emotion because he tries not to think about it.
do I encourage him to go to counselling, do we try and speak to his ex and explain how we’re feeling, or do we just grin and bare it until we have the money?
Some advice would be great, or just to speak to someone who’s gone through the same thing…
“<span style=”background-color: #fbfbfb; color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif;”>do I encourage him to go to counselling, do we try and speak to his ex and explain how we’re feeling,”</span>
I’d say both the above and maybe you too could benefit from sounds of it as it sounds you also are grieving from the separation. Absolutely do not give up though….stay strong and support each other through this.
i do encourage him to email his ex partner and explain how he’s feeling but he feels extremely vulnerable and feels pointless doing so. He’s also very reluctant to go to counselling in case his ex partner uses this against him when he goes back to court and says he’s unfit etc…