Dad not involved

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  • #17197 Report

    momma321
    Participant

    Hi, I’m looking for advice, especially from anyone who has been in the same situation. Dad decided not to be involved from the start, I was lenient in the hope he would come around, sent the odd scan pic etc but made it easy for him to not take part. I think he was scared as already has a kid from previous. I have written to his parents and had no reply. I am considering going to the parents house with my daughter, she’s 18 months so won’t understand. It angers me they are not involved but upsets me mostly. I wouldn’t be rude or aggressive, just calm and hoping they would feel differently should they meet her. The relationship didn t end badly and they seemed like nice people.

    Any advice? Is this a bad idea?

    Your responses would be appreciated, thanks

     

    #17205 Report

    momma321
    Participant

    To clarify, the pregnancy was not planned, neither of us were as careful as we should have been and by the time I found out I was 10 weeks gone and I saw her out the heart beating on the monitor, so I had to continue with the pregnancy. I don’t regret writing to his parents, I wasn’t negative towards him, I was simply letting them know about their grandchild. From conversations i have had with many people, decent people would want to know.

    #17206 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Is your ex married? Are they trying to protect his marriage?

    Regardless, I wouldn’t go to the house. Creating that situation has the potential to turn nasty.

    You could send a xmas card, enclosing a photo of your daughter and offering them the opportunity to meet her.

    It is a gentle approach, you aren’t forcing a confrontation, but it will make her more real to them. Then, if they don’t respond, accept their decision.

    Has your ex met her, does he have access to your social media?

    #17223 Report

    momma321
    Participant

    No he’s not married, as far as I know he’s not with anyone new. Yes I like that idea of a Christmas card. A few people have recommended I go to the house which is why I am considering it. I just want to try my best for my daughter whilst she is at an age where she doesn’t understand. Think you may be right that turning up has the potential to turn sour and the last thing I want is drama. No my social media is locked down.

    #17231 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    If you are sure you don’t mind your ex being involved, and you can cope with the idea of sharing your daughter, you could also email him a picture.

    Then, I think you will have done your best. It will be their move. Good luck

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