Dad moving abroad

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    Emilyella
    Participant

    My ex and I lived in New Zealand for our entire relationship and moved back here 2.5 years ago when we were pregnant.  We broke up a year ago. He suffers depression and border line alcoholic. He’s just returned from 6 weeks in NZ and announced he’s moving back there in a few weeks for good. He wants the party no responsibility life (he’s 40!) I can’t get my head around it. Our nearly 2 year old is adorable and I’m so angry that he could leave her especially as he was so child orientated.  Selfishly I was enjoying my weekends when he looked after her and now I feel like my freedom, career everything is gone as I’m a single mum even though Mu daughter comes first in everything. Anyone got any advice 

    #31521 Report

    SOLOMUMMY
    Participant

    I would try to be practical first.

    Make sure you have absolutely agreement so he is paying maintenance.  They will honour this in NZ.

    You cannot be expected to understand his decisions and tbh don’t have to be able to.  You just have to protect your child. I would ask how he intends to maintain contact.  Both now and in the future.

    I would make it clear that if he opts to  over you will not be paying for flights etc out there in the future for your child.

    As for your eow freedom. Do you have family or friends nearby? I parent my child alone and don’t have eow luxuries, but am lucky that maybe 2 or 3 times a year they may have a sleepover with family. And certainly as they age, other activities are possible where they may go on playdates etc.

    Do you work full time? Your career doesn’t have to be over. I would just foreplay for managing when toddler goes to school and how you’ll manage the before/after school care. If you plan in advance youmay be able to find a school local to you that offers wrapar6cqre for example or a childminder that would.

    In navy ways he’s given you opportunity to plan which gives you an advantage rather than to have expected some coparenting support and not had it

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