Dad hasn’t seen baby for 3 months but demands access

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    Hi all,

    looking for a bit of advice. My daughter was born in November 2020, her father has only seen her twice, with the last contact being December 23rd 2020.  He has not asked to see her since despite me trying to make him understand she needs stability and he needs to make more effort with her. He has now told his family that I won’t allow him to see her (complete lie!) and appears he may be wanting to take me to court for access, even though access has never been denied. On the two occasions he did come to see her, she became upset. He did very little to comfort her which made her more distressed and resulted in the baby being taken off him for another adult to calm her.

    he no longer gets in touch to ask about her well-being (last contact was end of January) but whenever I’ve pulled him up on why he doesn’t bother with her, he blames his phone not working. he knows where we live and can drive  so could easily come to see her.  he also has my mothers contact number but hasn’t got in touch with her either. if things were the other way round, I would do everything I could to see my child or find out how she’s getting on.  he’s done nothing.
    on the occasions he has been touch, he has never taken an interest in her. He’s never asked about her routine, how she’s feeding or what her sleeping is like. He just asks how she is and to get in touch if I need anything. Every time.

    my ex was emotionally and mentally abusive towards me during the pregnancy. I was always distressed because of his behaviour. He knew he was the cause, he knew the potential harm it could cause to our unborn baby, yet still continued his appalling behaviour. He is still continuing to be manipulative and trying to turn people against me when I haven’t done anything wrong. He’s told so many lies to save his own skin instead of stepping up to his responsibility as a parent.

    last week, I asked him to sign letters to enable me to take my daughter out of the country for a holiday and to move abroad with her. Another form was for her upcoming christening. He asked if the form was to move soon or for the future (I told him months ago I was looking into emigrating and even explained to him that he would need his own visa if he wanted to go. He replied to my message stating he would look into it) and signed the christening form without asking anything about it and showed no interest in it. He has now told his family that I’m taking her away and acted as though he knew nothing about even though he did.

    Has anyone been in this situation before? Where would I stand from a legal point of view?

    #52137 Report

    Hi Soph2992

    I’m Michelle one of the Moderators here.  As you’re seeking legal advice, the following services may be helpful:

    Rights of Women: Free, confidential legal advice by telephone for women on a wide variety of issues. Specialist areas include family law and domestic violence.

    Child Law Advice Service – they again provide legal advice on family law issues related to children,  and a helpline staffed by legal specialists 0300 330 5480

    Family Law Panel A free directory service for members of the public to access professional and independent family law information. Solicitors offer an initial free advice session.

    Civil Legal Advice Helpline on 0345 345 4 345 to check to see if you qualify for legal aid and for details of local family law solicitors that provide advice and representation funded by legal aid

    I hope that helps

    Kind regards




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