Dad has declared he is unfit to have the kids, what do I do about phonecalls?

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  • #51693 Report

    Rosy Cheeks
    Participant

    So, after a long process and a courtcase looming to establish a CAO the kids (nearly 8 and nearly 6), Dad has phoned CAFCASS and declared that he is too unwell to have the kids at all. So now there is an emergency safeguarding referral in place meaning I (Mum) have them 100%.  It is a relief in a way, but I am also very daunted by it all.  They were having regular weekly phone calls and this has not been mentioned.  He is often late to these calls and he never really pays the kids the attention they need, he is always busy doing something at the same time.  I have emailed him to ask if he still wants that contact but he just does not respond to me.  He has always been abusive, rude and aggressive towards me.  He will now have to apply to the courts to see the kids at all and he will need to prove he is not unwell anymore.   Maybe with supervised contact at first? I have no idea. I just feel like I need to tie up the phonecall issue so we all know the score!

    #51695 Report

    warwickshire1
    Blocked

    Sadly the only people that are going to suffer are the 2 kids now who wont be knowing when they are going to see their dad next.

     

    #51730 Report

    kathmaria143
    Participant

    Hi Rosy Cheeks,
    <div></div>
    <div>The CAO – for other people means ‘Child Arrangement Order’.</div>
    <div></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>Cafcass stands for </span><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service</span><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>. Cafcass represents children in family court cases in England. They independently advise the family courts about what is safe for children and in their best interests.</span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”> </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>I obviously don’t know all your story but, it is not clear what grounds he is saying he is unfit to look after the children. Does he have an addiction problem or an anger issue. He may need professional help to deal with that.</span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”> </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>I know it may be easier to stop contact with the father. As on this website and charities that campaign for men’s rights. We need to be equal to mens/fathers rights as well. </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”> </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>If he is sick he needs help. Children do need contact with their biological father ideally. The father should have access to their children as well. Babies are 50/50 the Mother and the father’s genes. Their child is part of the father as well.</span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”> </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>Before supervised contact. The father can have facetime every day to see and talk to their children, and vice versa for the children. That way the father does not have to go anywhere, and you and him are controlling the conversation, the boundaries of acceptable or not acceptable behaviour. It is not so intense. </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”> </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>That way the communication is still happening and flowing. The next step would be to meet in a supervised manner either in a contact centre, through a family or friend.</span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”> </span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>I hope this helps, we have to do what is right for the children, father and the mother. If you listen to men’s complains of child care arrangement. You will hear their pain they feel by the courts and their partners.</span></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”> </span></div>
    <div></div>
    <div><span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif;”>Good luck, Thanks Katherine,</span></div>

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