I split with my ex 17 months ago after 11 years. We have two children together. Since splitting he has become a completely different man and father. The split was not amicable though I try my best to be understanding. I have had to block him on all social media as he has had continuous issue accepting the split and if he saw I had gone somewhere he would demand to know where I was and who I was with. I moved to be closer to family, 21 miles from where we shared a home and he followed me and got a job in my new place of work. He has said on numerous occasions that he will never have the children so I can do anything but work. My issue is our eldest boy struggles and is currently undergoing assessments for autism and he loves his dad. They both do. Currently their dad comes to my house to see them as he isn’t comfortable having them where he lives. He refuses to have them over night and hasn’t had them stay with him since we broke up in September 2016. He works in a restaurant and lives about it a mile away from where I live and I understand the hours are busy but he has told me he can only commit to one day a week for the children and no weekend and no holidays. I want him to see them more as my boys are always asking after their dad and when they are together they have a really good time. I don’t want him to be in my house as he has gone through my things on a previous occasion and questioned me about private things he has found in my draws. I have asked for one weekend a month and two days a week. I want us to try and work a set schedule especially for our eldest who needs a routine. He constantly fights me and then we argue and noting productive happens. I am really struggling to find a way to work things out. Things are either his way or nothing and I am really getting tired of arguing. I am on a low income as a single parent and can’t afford the mediation I looked into or court fees.. has anyone got any advice?
Thank you for your reply! I know your right with everything you’re saying it’s just so frustrating! What would be best with communication going forward? He’s not very organised i.e our youngest has been attending nursery for over a year now and has kept the same hours since he’s been there and his dad still doesn’t know when he’s there despite me telling him every week. I want to limit communication as much as possible to avoid arguements.