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    Hi just really looking for some advice. My ex and I have been apart now for 15 months he has a very inconsistent approach to parenting and being blunt couldn’t care less about the day to day grind of looking after children! My boys are 6 and 9 and they live with me with the occasional visit from dad as and when he can fit them in. Anyway long story short he’s repeatedly broke lockdown and this has resulted in lots of desperate pleas from me to him asking him to try and not break it before he sees his boys. He had Covid over Xmas hes since told me he was feeling ill Boxing Day but broke lockdown to visit his g/f then came to us on 27th he tested positive on 28th! Thankfully we were all fine but he’s resurfaced after three weeks silence (this isn’t uncommon) but I’ve asked if he will take a Covid test before he comes to see the kids! Am I being unfair?

    #48397 Report


    You’re not being unfair….. however neither is a Covid test really in any way a reassurance that he is not infectious.  With testing as it is in terms of both reliability of actual tests but also incubation period etc.  Testing was never meant to be in order to test individuals as not having it.  Testing is not about individuals and verifying they are negative bcause it really can’t  do that.  Doctors are convinced I had covid back in February and I’m still recovering, but I’ve had 4x negative covid tests and I think i may even have had covid twice, with the second  time over 6 months later  not being as severe.

    The whole point of testing is to monitor and identify the spread of the virus among the population and where possible isolate and quarantine those that are identified as having it in order to reduce overall infection among the population.  It was never designed in order to verify safety of those that tested negative nor should it be used for this purpose.  It is risk mitigation not risk removal if someone tests negative.

    If your ex wants to be an ass that’s his own lookout but if you or and any of your family are vulnerable, ensure you take this into consideraiton with his behaviour and think in terms of an infection control perspective.  The first thing the government got right was to say to assume people have it and behave acordingly, that way hopefully the NHS will be able to stay afloat long enough to deploy the vaccine to enough people to be able to manage levels of the disease among the population.

    So to summarise no you’re not being unfair, but if anyone vulnerable is in your household or if you are in close contact with anyone vulnerable then a negative test is meaningless.



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