Covid and child contact

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    I am looking for some help reference child contact during this time.  We don’t have any court orders we thought we could be amicable.  My ex lives in a shared property and works shifts.  Through lockdown he would pop over and stay outside at a distance to chat to boys.  Now that lockdown has eased he has taken the boys out but now I have gone back to work my parents look.after boys while I work as they are my support bubble.  My ex works shifts he wants to have the boys for a few days this week but I am working.  He can’t really take them to where he lives also I would not be comfortable with that during this time.  He has said he can have them here in the house as the house is half his but I don’t feel comfortable with this either as it is my space we have been split 4 years I don’t think it is appropriate.  Also he is not part of my bubble therefore another reason I don’t want him here.  I’m speaking to a solicitor tomorrow I really don’t want the stress of all this or go down a road where we end up going to court as I feel myself and boys would be in a worse position financially and emotionally.  I don’t stop him.seeing the boys or contacting them due work patterns it makes it difficult to get a balance of who has them I feel like I’m keeping everyone else happy but I am not happy. I get the drudgery while he is fun time Dad and does things he wants to do but if he is off and wants to have them and I have made plans then I am the bad one not letting him see kids but then I will ask him to have them or think he wants to spend a day with them and he can’t because he is away or doing something.  Has anyone been in this type of situation I don’t think I am being unreasonable in the current climate if I wasn’t at work then I would be fine with him taking them out as long as keeping to government guidelines.  If we weren’t in a pandemic he could be having them while I at work.

    #42964 Report



    I would suggest that you and your ex come up with a rota for child access.

    Unfortunately women get left with the boring and mundane whilst Dads get the fun part. It doesn’t feel fair at all. I feel the same.


    My ex and myself work for the same employer and we both worked throughout. He didn’t see his kids for 3.5 months and used Covid as his excuse.


    Hopefully the Solicitor can advise you accordingly.


    You’re not alone

    #42970 Report


    For me this feels distorted. You and the children live in the house you and their father own, while their father lives in shared accomodation. He sacrificed his closed contact to the children during lockdown and spoke to them from a distance to keep them safe. He took them out after lockdown and they had some fun time together but now you rather have your parents to look after the children than letting them have a little compensation time with their dad for what he has done for them during lockdown and you are still feeling you are being at the wrong end of the stick? You might want to look into this and ask yourself how you would feel in his shoes.

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