Court order problems

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  • #42916 Report

    Stuckinthemud
    Participant

    Hi guys

     My first post is a bit of a long one so I apologise for that. It may be a bit confusing as I’ve written it in parts as im trying to add as much detail as pos as I remember it.  Here goes:

    I had a break down 2 years ago and felt best my little girl then three went to stay with her dad while I get . I was currently in theray at time and the psych put it down to emotions of going through therapy it would pass which it did and also stated that I was not at risk to myself or anyone else.

    Unfortunately her dad pulled up a lot of false issues that were never found to be true, in fact, even though issues were written on the court forms, none of these issues ever got mentioned and contact was stopped and started until he applied to court. Cafcass and ss done home meetings and visits with me and little one 4 times and everytime the report came back positive  3 of them even praised myself.

    This is where it gets confusing for me. He won living rights which I am now ok about. I was granted supervised contact every three weeks for two hours at a time until she’s 18. Which I find slightly unfair due to the only issues the court found was issues between the parents and not around parenting by ourselves. I got told I was a threat and everytime I questioned this anything else I had told I  told I was arguing or going around in circles. Of course we were going around in circles. I wasn’t getting answers to what I was being told what do ever and never found out why I had become a threat. That’s why we went around in circles.

    Anyway, the court order states that im meant to have a text message or letter update every two weeks about nursery, health, after school activities etc. A whole background of how my child doing. I’ve had 4 updates since then, two of them being exactly the same meaning he had recent the first message. All four times I’ve had to promt for this because he has not sent anything. All at least 2 months apart. These messages just basically say that she’s ok and had stayed with his parents or nan while he’s been at work. Nothing else. Only thing that has changed is the childcare part.

    So, I  prompt again around a month ago which he replied saying she was back in school and that he would be sending a letter out signed which great. Fast forward a month and in  separate messages just minutes apart he states he’s got dig out my address and then he’s lost it. He’s also stated that she’s not been at school but a nursery round the corner. I must also state that it took us until month to start  because he was ignoring messages about it or making up some about the people who could have supervised. It’s finally fallen to my 19 yr old niece which is funny because he’s only met her once..  When he could of gone with my dad supervising because my ex lives us for nearly a year at one point. All these issues out of molehills.

    I must also mention that from november, the last four hearing until April I was homeless and living in a shed in a friends garden (their already  8 family members in a two bed house… Lots of kids so no room and no other friends) and am now living in a flat 300 miles away (cheapest thing I could find with the with i had saved.im happy back in therapy have just qualified as a nutritionis and am settled. Neither mental health, as or the council were willing to help me so I had no choice. My nieces are in care my dads in a shared house. I don’t speak to the rest of my family.

    My next contact is next weekend my next issue is that im still unemployed and on benefits but it’s costing me close to 400 a time to get down there, accommodation, food and some treats for my little one and I just cannot afford it. I’m sinking!

     

    Can any one offer some advice as to what I can do?

     

    #42917 Report

    Stuckinthemud
    Participant

    I forgot to mention  I was never informed of taf meetings until recently am being refused any knowledge on it by ss although order clearly states im.meant to be involved in them etc I’m also meant to be able ring my child’s school but they refuse to tell me how she’s getting on.  How am I’m meant to encourage and support my child when I no absolutely nothing about her. She’s now 5 and seems to miss me. She got really distressed when was home time last time which upsetting

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