Court order is not working I am stuck between rock and a hard place.

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    Hi just hoping somebody can help and give some advice.

    we have a court order in place at the moment for dads access. Last weekend I refused to let our son go because I suspected he had broken his oath and consumed alcohol and drugs 24 hours prior collecting him. Many reasons I suspected this and have done previous weekends but still let him go due to been scared to break our court order.

    These issues are ongoing and have been some years. Dad refused to have drug and alcohol screening on our last court hearing which is now 6 months ago.
    he has only been granted day access due to this and won’t be given any overnight access until the reports have come through.

    I have spoken to the correct people and their advice is for me to stop all contact due to safeguarding concerns and they suggest dad takes me back to court and I have to get legal help. I have to express the current court order is not working as it is not fair I have to be the one to assess dad every weekend to know if he is safe to take our son or not this is causing more conflict infront of child.

    This is only advice as they cannot intervene as child is safe with me and at no immediate risk, they admit I am in a very hard place but can refuse contact if I feel safety is at risk and the police can’t intervene if I break this order?? Is this true??
    I got given this same advice in the past but I get no support with it and I am left dealing with sons dad who turns volatile as you can imagine and turns up at my house demanding and threatening.

    so I have to protect my baby but it comes at a cost as they strongly said I need legal help but why should I pay probably hundreds maybe even thousands I don’t know how it all even works. I am not entitled to legal aid. Why should I pay a single penny when this is all his doing where we are at now!

    dad still to this day thinks he is ok no issues and turns it all around on to me. He is a complete narcissist who can not accept he does wrong and It’s all me. It is so draining and I am in tears every day because I am now struggling been a mother with all the ongoing stress.

    so do I take the advice from professionals IE social services, NCPCC etc

    or just let him come and get him for his once a week access.

    if you got this far thank you for reading.

    #53005 Report



    courts must have taken reasonable precautions in the case of the father. If he wants overnight stays with child then he can get tested. I would suggest you let the contact carry on and follow the court order.

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