Court for CAO. 1 year old baby.

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  • #36765 Report

    bekabyrne92
    Participant

    Me and my 1 year old son live in the midlands, his father lives in Kent.

    he has started court proceedings for an arrangement order to have our son overnight every other weekend and on special occasions.

    im scared of what the court might decide. My son is too young to be away from me overnight and such a long way away.

    Does anyone have any experience with this and have any advice or know what may happen?

     

    x

    #36771 Report

    KAX
    Participant

    Hello Bekarbyne92,

    It’s a very tricky question. As a father I don’t get why a children being away from a mum is mote important than from a dad.

    Having say that the main subject should always be: What is the best for the children.

    I dunno how long is the commute between midland and kent but if too long you could fond a compromise and ask the dad to find a place to stay near yours (30min distance max) then it won’t be panful for your child and no time wasted.

    Write your statement and provide it to the court. prior the hearing. put what you want and what is the best for the child.

     

    regards

    Kax

     

    #36777 Report

    SLM19
    Participant

    Hello there! Sorry to hear about your circumstances.

    My ex husband left when my daughter was 8 months and he issued court proceedings which have since been finalised.

    I think it will depend on the type of access he has already been having and how you intend to increase this. What he is proposing isn’t unusual despite the age, and the courts focus on what’s in the best interest for the child (which is obviously a good relationship with both parents). However, if he hasn’t been having any overnight access then there should be some kind of transition period. If there are no safeguarding issues then they will want to see compromise etc, however I’m not sure how much the distance will be factored in.

    If you can, contact some law firms for some advice, it’s a tough process but I hope it all works out for you and your little boy.

    X

    #36798 Report

    bekabyrne92
    Participant

    Hi thank you for your replies!

     

    I know what you mean about Dad’s being as important and I do agree to an extent but my ex partner wasn’t hugely involved in anything whilst we were together until our son was 4 months and he was never that hands on. So it’s not much that I’m more important it’s just that nobody knows my son better than me and it’s not best for him to be away from me if that makes sense?

    he doesn’t want to make anything easier for our son. I’ve suggested a transition of the first overnight stays to be in a hotel nearer to me in case anything goes wrong or in case our son needs/wants mommy but he doesn’t want to do that. I think it’s all less to do with him having a better relationship with our son and more that he just wants to “show him off” to family and friends.

     

    when we split in June 2019 our son had a few overnight stays and would not settle at all so they stopped and now he wants to start them again hence court. He currently comes to see him every other Sunday and he doesn’t want to come into my house so he takes him out for 5 hours. I just think going from 5 hours every 2 weeks to then having him overnight is gonna be so hard for our son when he’s not used to being with his dad for any length of time.

     

    once again thank you for your messages! X

    #37026 Report

    WACS
    Participant

    Hi <span style=”color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif;”>Bekarbyne92, </span>

    I’m sorry I don’t have any specific advice, but I agree with you about you knowing when it may be best for your son to spend more time with his father. My ex and I split up when out daughter was nine months old and up until that point he never did a night feed, he couldn’t take her out on his own and I couldn’t even have a shower without needing to get out mid-way through because he couldn’t cope with her, along with many other things. We didn’t have to go to court but I decided when it was right for her to go and stay overnight with him and although once I knew it was the right time and she was fine, it was hard for me.

    All I can say is good luck, and it seems that courts will take the child’s welfare into account so just make your case as well as you can regarding your son’s welfare, as I can see you’re already doing by suggesting a transition period. Good luck again x

    #37034 Report

    Weslie1
    Participant

    Hi.
    im a dad and have custody of my 13 year old daughter and have had for 10 years. If a dad is a good and willing dad and only wants to have his child for the child’s benefit then I really don’t see that contact should be an issue. The law is weighed far too heavily in the mothers favour. It assumes the child is better with the mother and makes the father fight firvwhat he should be lawfully entitled to. I’m not suggesting that you are but many mothers use this fact to there advantage.

    wes

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