Court advice- HELP!

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  • #8908 Report


    Can anyone advice me on a statement I need to provide to the court- I received an email with the letter attached yesterday afternoon which was dated 21st Feb however due to all my personal details being changed as advised by police they would not know how to contact me. I was originally meant to go to court for a dispute hearing in Feb however could not attend as I have fled domestic abuse and for safeguarding reasons concerning my daugher to a new location which I explained in an email before the hearing therefor this is how they have made contact.

    In the letter it says ”Both parents are to send statements to each other (courts address) setting out what arrangements for the contact they consider to be in *childs name* best interest.

    Has anyone had to do this under the same circumstances? I have no idea how to set this out. Do I address it to my daughters father? All contact had been stopped as advised by the police because of harassment (which he was warned multiple times) and abusive behaviour.

    My daughters father is an alcoholic. Safeguarding was put into place as he drank on a number of occasions whilst solely responsible for her. Mainly because when I returned from a night shift he had drank to the point he passed out on the bedroom floor with our daughter next to him (9 months at the time) he urinated himself and on her-  I have video evidence of a conversation with him about this incident, he showed absolutely no remorse or concern for her safety.

    I never stopped contact until the police advised me to- he had ample opportunities to see our daughter to the point I ended up letting him see her whenever he wanted. This still was not good enough, I would receive text messages saying he was too hungover to see her- he would turn up drunk or hungover- he would question if he would have to see her all the time. I cannot fathom how it is at all beneficial to my daughters emotional well being to have man come in and out of her life and to leave me to explain why her dad does this. This to me is a massive drama that he is playing to make himself look the victim. I honestly do not understand why I should give this man an opportunity to have a relationship with our daughter when he made the choice not to from day one.

    Within this letter it states that he would need to prove to the court and CAFCASS in the form of a letter from his GP stating any help or medication he is or has received for his alcohol addiction- which is next to none as far as I know.

    For some reason CAFCASS would like a letter from my GP outlining any help or medication I am receiving for my mental health- which I can only assume is an accusation he has made. What am I meant to provide when there is nothing?

    I have a supporting letter from my Health Visitor fully supporting my move to another location stating the reasons why. I  also have police reports and hundreds of abusive messages and one suicide email he wanted to pass on to our daughter when she was old enough to read.

    Any advice would be so appreciated!

    #8910 Report


    Yes – done this. It is basically a Parenting Plan. I have a draft document I can send you which covers all the points you might want to consider when composing it. I can also help you write it if necessary. If he’s as bad as you say then it’s going to be tricky, but for example you could say that you believe any contact in the short to medium term should be in the presence of a CAFCASS assessor (supervised access) and can only go ahead if he is sober on the day (something along those lines anyway) and that you need to see evidence of him tackling his alcoholism before you can trust him on his own with your child. No, you don’t address it to him. It’s more like a wish list in bullet point format. For example, under decisions you might put something like: Both parents should negotiate in an atmosphere of respect when both parties are sober over issues to do with our child’s education and receive contact from the school on his/her progress (etc).

    Anyway, PM me your email address and I’ll send it along. Have a read, then let me know if I can help further.

    #8911 Report


    Btw, on the day in court, you can request a separate waiting area so you don’t have to see him prior to the hearing (under the circumstances).

    #8951 Report


    Hi Marie

    Thanks for sharing your story on the forum. For advice about your situation you may want to contact the Child Law Advice service . They have lots of useful information on their website and a helpline.

    Take care


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