Corona virus and child care arrangements with ex

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    Good afternoon,

    I am a single mum to two boys.

    My children go to their dads every other weekend.

    I am a nurse in intensive care.

    I work reduced hours so can still see the boys and have support for child care from my parents- who care for the boys when I am working. My dad is currently living with me.

    My children’s dad wants to keep the boys  at he’s house in Essex whilst I am a front line worker- my concern is this could mean the boys are away from me and their family home for months.

    I have concerns this will impact on the mental health of my boys.

    When my children are with their dad contact is minimal with me.

    My concern is the children will be away for months and I won’t have contact with them on video or phone.

    My other concern is that my ex has been asking for a DNA test for my youngest since November with the CSA- I have consented, although there is no doubt on parentage in my mind as I have never been unfaithful.

    The CSA have assumed parentage has my ex hasn’t replied to their contact for a few months. I am now receiving direct payments via the csa.

    At present we are self isolating due to the children having symptoms, so the children have been staying with me. My ex hasn’t contacted the boys since the 8th March- he has been informed the boys are symptomatic. He feels I am lying about their illness to keep them away from him- although I’ve never stopped him seeing them.

    He used to have them every  weekend until I went to the CSA.

    I feel it’s in the children’s best interest they stay with me and have regular contact with their dad through video and phone calls..

    I do appreciate that if my job evolves and I am putting the children at direct risk then childcare arrangements may require to change. In this instance.. the boys would be best where they are in the most psychologically enriching, warm and loving environment- which I feel is with my parents. My parents have the boys at least four days a week with my usual working hours.

    I appreciate my ex has parental responsibility.

    Thoughts?? x

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