Coping with two teens solo
9 August 2019 at 1:21 pm #29032
Hi, I’ve been bringing up my two girls mostly alone for 11 years. I’ve had a part-time partner for most of that but we’re now just friends. I also occasionally support my mum and went back to full time work this year. I’ve not really had a social life for years and don’t seem to know anyone else who has sole care of their children 7 days a week. My girls are 13 and 15 and it can be hard. Any advice on getting through the ups and downs of the teenage years? Have just felt life getting on top of me recently x9 August 2019 at 10:07 pm #29042
Sorry to hear you are feeling like that- it sounds like a a lot to juggle.
I might not be in the same situation but I totally understand especially the juggling part.
Firstly, you are amazing and you have been doing amazingly. Just keep going and don’t forget to enjoy yourself through it all.
Go out with the girls- spa days ( groupon and wowchers really good). Holidays, cheeky weekend or even lunches/dinners or even just nights in together. Do things they like too
You say you have gone back to work full time this year.. I would definitely say keep talking to them, keep a close as possible open relationship with them. It’s May feel hard on you but they are also going through it too and probably other teenage things you don’t know about (possibly)
As for your social life- they are older now and girl you have to get that back. Start small- go to colleagues get togethers. Connect with old friends- get new ones
Go to events by yourself even
Dont forget to be good to yourself xx10 August 2019 at 10:51 am #29059
Do you have any other Mum friends you can start to socialise with? Their friends’ Mums? I’ve made some great new friends this way.
It’s ridiculously hard & I’m full of admiration for you doing it alone all these years. x18 August 2019 at 2:38 pm #29340
Hi, first day on here and just wanted to say hi and say I know how you feel Leedsmum, I too have 16 and 28 year old, been on my own for 4 years, thought it got easier when they got harder, far from it.
The advice and words you have been given here is great.
I too feel overwhelmed at the moment also in the process of divorce.
You will get through it. Sometimes it will feel like everything is going wrong but I promise you get through that day and the next won’t feel quite so bad.
How are you feeling today?18 August 2019 at 2:38 pm #29341
Sorry that meant to say 16 and 18 year old21 August 2019 at 9:13 am #29408
Hi Leeds mum
I can totally sympathise with this, I have sole care of my teenagers 16 and 13, They have had no contact with their dad since we separated nearly 5 years ago. It’s another level of hard when you are coping completely alone as there is no let up at all and no break from it. I don’t really know anyone else in this situation either, other single mums I know either have time when the kids are with their father or have good family support – I have neither!
I also find this makes socialising very difficult and working full time on top just adds to the stress and fatigue.
I am finding the teenage years harder and more lonely than when they were younger. I am currently trying hard to get out and do things more, even if it’s on my own. Yours are a similar age to mine so could be left for short periods whilst you go off and refresh! I like to walk with the dog, recently joined a gym and I sometimes just have a mooch around the shops just to be out and around people.
It’s hard as all the single mum groups seem to cater for mums with younger children, and my eldest is extremely anti social making it difficult.
If you want to chat, it would be nice to talk to someone in the same situation x21 August 2019 at 10:26 am #29409
I believe you’re doing an amazing job with your kids. I’m new on here and a single dad of three. I can appreciate you and all you have to go through each day for your kids. I work for myself on top of caring for my kids, the bills needs to be paid as you know. I have been doing it for about 4 years now.
Kids sees their their mum only 4 times a years for few hours. I have been blessed with family members who help when they can.
I’m sure sometimes you feel like all social life is over for you. I think the best way is to try on link with other single parents and make new friends. Sometimes it’s not easy to do that but if you are able to achieve that, it will help a lot.
You are not alone, everyone.
Keep up the good work every single parent on here.
Have a good day.