Contacting CSA & contact for children

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    I’m not sure how many of you read my first post but i am now here after some advice/guidance on what steps I need to do next.

    If you didn’t see my first post here’s a run down: My husband and I have been separated for the past 2 mths. i mentioned money for the children to him a few times because he left me with nothing and now way to pay bills (i only work part time).

    Anyway the first time he mentioned money he came up with a stupid pittance of amount that wouldn’t have even cover dinner money (which he stopped a few weeks after moving out without telling me and avoiding the questions the children had about it by saying “ill sort it”and not actually doing so, he only confirmed yesterday that i was doing it now!!!!). He then told me another amount a few weeks later which i was alot more happier with. Anyway payday arrived and no payment came. So i texted him saying I’d not go another month without the money and that if he didn’t pay i’d be contacting the CSA a few texts went back and forth and i got paid a few hours later.

    This month i have finally got my benefits confirmation and I texted him to notify that i’d sorted the bill out and that i’d now be excepting the FULL amount. No answer. he texted yesterday about our daughter and i replied adding the money situation kind of a sub note. I got “I will always pay the money i owe i wont be an idiot about it. I will pay it ASAP as soon as I got paid”. Today is payday nothing, and no confirmation when it would be paid either.

    I’m really not sure where to go now other then down the legal/CSA route i don’t think i have an other option other at the minute.  HE DIDN’T WANT TO!!! But all i know is that i cant continue like this every month, i cant keep having the same fight over and over as the more it happens the more its brings all the hurt to the surface and prevents me ever feeling i can move forward.

    I also want to no what else i can do regarding him having contact with our children who are old enough to understand whats going on. He has only been here once for 5 minutes on our daughters birthday in 2 weeks.  He was informed he’d have them tomorrow over 3 weeks ago but yesterday he said “i didn’t no i was having them tomorrow i’m looking at a house” (bearing in mind the last time i saw him he said he’d already found somewhere to live!!). So now i’ve no idea when hes coming to see them as one minute “i’ll have them Sunday morning” then its “i’ll take them cinema or something Saturday night or one evening next week” (hes currently never had them on a evening in 8wks, also theres no way he’d collect the children from my parents).

    I’m pretty certain he wont see them this weekend now and not sure when he will as he said “weekends will be tricky at the minute as i’m sorting this house”. I’m really not sure what i can do but i cant keep texting him every time hes meant to have them to “REMIND” him surely they should be his number one pirorty??

    I have text him my rota for May and told the children that he knows when he  should have them as i’ve had to explain to them about tomorrow.


    Feeling lost 🙁


    #10811 Report


    Hmmm to be fair He could quite easily have them as I do work evenings and hes never once asked to ans hed properly sya he cant as hes going to the gym. Plus he’d more then likely not have the money to take them out (he has huge debt). And he’scurrently stating at a friend’ and he says the girls cant go/stay there not sure why they couldn’t just go for tea mind….. like I said all I’ve had of him recently is excuses.

    The only reason I was <b>asking him to have them</b> whilst I worked as I thought this was an easy option as I work weekends, he doesn’t he didn’t have to see me if he doesn’t want and it’s also not every weekend. (Had the whole of last weekend of and there was an excuse why he couldn’t see them). He doesn’t seam intereted in anything but what he wants.

    Regarding the CSA that’s exactly why I haven’t crossed the bridge yet im scared it won’t be what we’ve greed and at the moment he’s clearly only willing to give me what “he thinks” is he right ammount not a pennny more. I have tried the calculator but I have no idea of his take home wage due to the fact he gets an annual bonus wish would b included in the calculation and it’s different every year :(.


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