Contact with ex

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  • #9790 Report


    Hi. My husband walked 3 weeks ago with no warning. I’m a mess as can be expected. I’m at the beginning of an apprenticeship as a care assistant. My shifts are 12hrs so now I’m stuck regarding childcare. I can sort set shifts to help. My question is would it be unreasonable for me to expect ex to have the kids 2 nights a week plus every other weekend? He would need to sort childcare for one during the day.

    #9792 Report



    Have you asked him, if he would be willing too? He will probably want contact with them so if you could sort it between you, it would be good.

    Very early days yet so the situation may change.

    Hope it goes well for you.

    You may find that you will have to lower your hours, check out the benefit calculator on here.

    #9796 Report


    Hi beci101, I don’t think that sounds unreasonable at all!! I think that’s a pretty fair plan, has he seen them much since it happened? Considering he walked out and is aware of your studies, all emotions aside I don’t see why he couldn’t spend that time with them? The one that walks away seems to always hold the cards but they really shouldn’t?! Are you on speaking terms? I’ve had to be quite strong with my ex and when he sees bub as he took me for granted but I had a serious and honest but very calm chat with him and outlined my expectations and just told him when he would see him. May not work for all but a plan of some sort is the best way.

    I hope you’re ok though, keep going with the study and be proud to achieve it! Hopefully it will be a welcome distraction.xx

    #9839 Report


    Hi. I pay for 2 days childcare at the mo so don’t think it’ unreasonable for him to pay for 2 days too.

    He has seen them once a week for about an hour but has not phoned or anything since leaving. He did have them on Saturday but my youngest came back after 6hrs away with a sodden and spoiled nappy and my other child crying because she couldn’t stay with him so making out it is my fault. They are 5 and 2. He is living at his mum’s.

    #9844 Report


    He has a child from previous who he would only see once at week at the ex’s house and he could never manage that all the time. He would not go for resident parent. It does worry me but i really don’t see why we can’ share them.

    As for my job I can be topped up with tax credits

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