Contact stopped out of revenge.

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  • #55478 Report


    My ex-partner has stopped me having access to out 3 week old because I ended our relationship due to her mental and emotional abuse.

    She has said to me previously that if I ended our relationship I would be the one who would suffer. She has now completely cut me and my family from seeing my child. She has blocked any way of contacting her.

    She has tarnished my name and slandered me to family and friends and as a result of her compulsive lies they don’t want to know me.

    She phoned the police for harassment because I was ringing to find out when I could see my child. The police investigated and couldn’t find any evidence of her accusations of me messaging her abuse. They said that all they see is a Father wanting to see his daughter but advised me to not contact her anymore to avoid being arrested.

    She allowed me to see our child at her grandparents for 1 hour last week, the grandparents and her brother was present and they locked me in the house, her brother was guarding the door the whole time and my child’s mother was outside waiting in her car. I just wanted to see my daughter but it was really awful and controlled which is all down to her.

    I have contacted the social services and the mental health team over concerns with my child’s welfare and my child’s mothers well-being but they didn’t want to know.

    I feel completely lost, I feel helpless and I’m completely broken. I just want to see my child but all she wants to do is try to control me and punish me because I ended our relationship.

    How can someone get away with this?

    How can someone decide to do that for their own selfish reasons and personal gain?

    Why don’t fathers have the same rights as mothers?

    Any advice would be grateful appreciated x

    #55486 Report


    I’d suggest contacting mediation as soon as possible. Sounds like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place and she won’t let it get any better for you.
    keep any contact between you about the child and keep a log of everything that happens.
    sounds like she’s trying to say you have abused her, but from what you’re saying it’s the other way round and she’s trying to push you out

    good luck

    #55488 Report


    Today would of been my first Fathers Day with my little girl but she has taken that away from me.

    I can’t contact her or turn up to her house just to avoid the police being called and potentially being arrested.

    All I want is to see my baby girl, but all she wants is revenge and to make me look like a horrible person. She has tarnished my name and turned all our friends and her family against me with her compulsive lies.

    She has registered the birth without my name on it out of spite, she won’t allow any contact from anyone. It’s all down to control and power and it has broken me each day being away from my baby girl.

    For too long she has psychologically and emotionally abused me and I didn’t know it until recently when I finally told my family what has been going on and they pointed it out. She used to constantly gaslight and manipulate me until I had enough of it and ended our relationship.

    Mediation has been contacted by her but I have to wait until the middle of July until I have my consultation. Then we have a joint meeting together which I’m not looking forward to.

    By that time it will be almost 2 months since I’ve seen my little girl. Family and friends have said to stay strong etc but they have no idea of the pain of not seeing her. I’m missing out on so much, little things like her first laugh etc I don’t have a bond with her and it hurts so much.


    #55508 Report

    Hi WilsonJ

    I’m Michelle one of the Moderators here in the forum.  I’m sorry to hear about what you’re experiencing at the moment and I’m glad to see that you’re getting some support here.

    The following service may also be able to offer you some guidance and support with your current circumstances:

    Families Need Fathers – A UK charity supporting dads, mums and grandparents to have personal contact and meaningful relationships with their children following parental separation.  0300 0300 363

    I hope that helps a little

    Kind regards


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