It’s a tough one. When I first spilt from my husband I would sometimes text to see how it my was because I missed him so much and found it hard being away from him. If he ever stayed more than one night I’d arrange to call and speak to him the second night. Now he’s older its fine, unless they’re on holiday I don’t feel the need.
If you have a good relationship maybe speak with her, she might not realise it bothers you. Let her know that she doesn’t need to check on them all the time and assure her that if there was a problem you would let her know. Or arrange a time for you to call her so she can speak to them on your terms