Contact Issues and Mental Health

[Butterfly76Participant]

It’s been 5 years since I was in court due to issues with my ex husband. He is from a foreign country originally but has resided in the UK since 2000. He was sectioned under the mental health act twice due to psychotic episodes and bipolar shortly after having our daughter. The last court order stated he should have unsupervised contact for two hours every fortnight. He felt he was unable to undertake the contact sessions on his own when our daughter was 7 therefore I agreed to supervise the sessions. Later he advised that visiting every two weeks was too expensive and it changed to every 3 weeks further to his request.

My daughter is now 11 and he wishes to undertake unsupervised contact out of the blue. I know she will be extremely anxious and not want to attend these sessions alone. He has never paid child maintenance. Why should I give in to his demands now?

Urgent advice appreciated.

 

[PeterDParticipant]

Hi B

You don’t have too. Your daughters feeling are of the upmost and at her age the last thing she and you need is any form of unnecessary anxiety.

You need to get onto cms regarding the maintenance as soon as possible they will put you through to the cms option team first. I’ve used them and they are fantastic.

If you do feel threatened in any way just call the police.

Remember your her mother and main guardian  that in itself goes a very long way in our court system

PeterD

 

 

 

 

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

What does your daughter think? Does she want to spend time with him?

Why does he want to do this? Has his mental health improved? Does he feel more able to be a dad? It’s understandable if he wants to make things better but your daughter’s feeling have to come first.

Would she be happy perhaps arranging to meet him for Pizza somewhere familiar. You drop her at the restaurant, they have a meal, then you collect her. If you choose somewhere familiar she knows the staff, that should help with any anxiety. And if she’s really not happy she could text you to collect her early.

I think I’d be guided by your daughter.

[GingerbreadJustineModerator]

Hi Butterfly 76.

I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this.  It may be an idea to call our single parent helpline for some advice.  The advisers are very experienced and they should be able to help you explore your options.

Hope this helps, Justine

https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/what-we-do/contact-us/helpline/

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