Contact/Child Support

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    PlumSecret
    Participant

    My baby is nearly 3 months old. Father has had no involvement. When baby was a week old, he asked to see him, but I said no for the time being, as lockdown was just being implemented and we’d been advised to self-isolate, due to baby having fluid on the lungs and they had no idea how the virus impacted children at this point.
    We then heard nothing from his Father, he never checked in to see how baby was, or if we had nappies/milk/clothes etc (especially considering current climate). He has offered no support, financially or otherwise. I’ve purchased everything baby needs, from milk/clothes, to trave system/cot.

    He then got in touch very recently, aying he hopes we’re okay and has asked to come and see baby.
    I guess I’m venting more than anything, I feel anger that he feels it’s okay to make no contact for 3 months and then ask to meet up out of nowhere.
    My baby has a right to see his Father, so I will of course meet him. I also feel that regardless of everything, he should be paying towards his child. However, I have my reservations with regards to putting him on the birth certificate, mainly because I worry he will go out of his way to make things difficult for us in the future, simply because he can. He can be quite immature and bitter.

    Even if I leave him off the birth cert, I would still encourage contact between baby and him.

    If I leave his Father off the birth cert, can I still claim child support from him, or will that automatically get him added to the certificate?

    Thanks in advance,

    #40447 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Yes, you can put in a CMs claim without your ex being on the birth certificate. He can apply to be added to the bc in due course.

    to be fair to your ex, he asked to see your baby months ago and you said no, you were isolating, which was reasonable. So he left you alone and now you are angry that he hasn’t contacted you for three months. Did you contact him? Ask him to drop off nappies or food? Offer face time or send photos?

    You have 18 years of co-parenting to get through. It will be a lot easier for everyone  if you can each cut the other a little slack. Does he have any idea what parenting involves? Most new dads haven’t. Most new parents need guidance and hands on experience, which he doesn’t have at the moment. Lockdown is making everyone stressed but maybe choose your battles. It will help you all in the end.

    Good luck.

     

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