Contact between parents

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  • #39592 Report


    I need some help. Background: separated from husband for 6 months. I’ve filed for divorce and served him papers as he ignored it. He finally agreed to have both kids 1 night a week, I have them the rest of the time.  Structure good for kids and everyone. Since lockdown fri13th. He’s been pestering me to come to house to look after kids while I work. I didn’t like the idea but finally gave in. He’s brought food, taken them out for walks and sat in the garden sunning himself and kids always ask me for things and not him.

    anyway it got to a point where he was getting more angry via text and when he had kids. As youngest was drawing on his walls and he blamed me as I told her to do it. He was coming to house anytime he wanted – text me before he would come but when I said no, he would get aggressive and angry (joint mortgage)

    so after 2 weeks and him being up and down with aggression and anger towards me and my stubbornness to end the marriage I called the police as he wouldn’t leave home and got very threatening and aggressive in front of kids (3 and 5). He dropped kids back earlier than agreed (no contact order)


    anyway that was a week ago. Kids been with me all week. No contact at all from him. My solicitor sent him a letter about arrangements for kids and that he needs text work rota etc and agree contact to new mobile number (bought just for contact).


    so I don’t know what to do? He’s not got in contact at all on either phone. Kids are going crazy as they miss him and want to see him? I don’t know what to say? I’ve been told not to contact him. But I’m not sure he’s read letter from my solicitor or he’s playing the long game of sick and twisted blaming it all on me. Like he has for years. My head is fried with everything going on.


    surly if he loved kids that much he would contact me for contact??


    im just lost.

    #39903 Report


    Youve got a solicitor so your solicitor should give you guidence on where to go from here.  Usual protocol is the solicitor writes them, if an agreeent cant be reached via solicitors then you attempt mediation, if he fails to attend or mediation is unsuccessful you take it to court where a judge will decide what access will be given (although they do take everything into consideration). A judge will act in the best interest of the child. If you have genuine concerns about his abilty as a father but wish for contact to continue then you can always apply for supervised contact. In the mean time I would suggest you have no further contact with him unless it is related to an emergency with the kids and you should apply to CMS for financial support from your ex. Any contact you do have with him should be written via solicitors letters or via messaging so you havea record of everything that is said and ensure you remain focused on the children throughout any conversauons and that you remain civil no matter what he does to provoke you. Hope this helps and stay safe

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