Contact arrangements through court

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  • #64992 Report


    Hi all

    Firstly, please note I am NOT anti dad ( I know some people chuck this out easily!!)

    I wrote a lengthy post but deleted it to keep it simple.

    If a dad has a court order stamped down so he can spend “quality time with a child” (which in my case is what dad wanted).  Court looked at his work commitments at that time and actually made him reduce some working hours to reflect regular contact (midweek).

    His weekly, regular contact since court has actually decreased since court but he does do holidays of 2 – 4 nights within the year.

    His girlfriend has accidently slipped up and told us that he works weekends whilst he has got our child.

    The problem I have got about this is that he spend thousands of pounds at court to get regular contact for quality time, decreased his contact since this and now actually goes to work during the time he’s ordered to have quality time.

    Please note – I know some people have to work every hour they can financially however he lives with parents, little debts, gf is a teacher, he is on a good wage ( Know as I know what he earns through Child Maintenance)

    So the question is: Legally, should he be working when he put an order into court for regular contact that he has since decided to work through? I’ve asked him if I can know what kind of hours he works whilst my child is there and he wont tell me – fine no problem, but he has an order to follow- which he put in for.

    #64995 Report



    I can not give legal advice. but from my own experience and understanding, those child arrangement orders order the mother to make children available to father on set days laid out in the order. it’s based on his availability. Court frankly didn’t care about my work commitments and told me to go find a flexible job, if I have issues doing school runs. so frankly he is free to decide if he is available or not to see the kids on those days/weekends.

    My work is flexible but often the work is only available on weekends, and there have been times where I had no choice but to leave kids with family while I disappeared for 1 or 2 hours. and I received complaints from their mother lol. If I re-married, I  hate to think how she would react if I leave kids with new wife. You may find it awkward or uncomfortable that he leaves the kids with his girlfriend. But I would suggest not to rock the boat on this one. When I was in court my lawyer told me that court can not decide everything for parents. even judge said they expect both parents to be flexible in future, and don’t want us back in court. sometimes parents struggle with work, so they pay strangers to look after their kids (childminders/child care).

    • This reply was modified 4 days, 12 hours ago by steve3334.
    #65002 Report




    #65003 Report


    Sorry, I think you misread the point I made. I have no problems (awkwardness/uncomfortable) lol. This is the fact that he wanted pinning down regular days to spend “quality time with our child” (his words) and now goes to work during that time, meaning our child very rarely sees him. There would be no point in the child arrangement order if he simply couldn’t facilitate spending such quality time with our child, if you understand me?

    Throughout this order it explains all about contact and when reading notes on gov it explains what contact is and that is spending time with one another in our case. – Childs father only has our child one day a wee (26 hours to be exact).

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