Contact and over night stays

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  • #54936 Report

    Alexp1
    Participant

    My ex partner lives two hours away. We have a 4 month old baby, who know lives with me in leicester. My ex partner decided to split very suddenly to state he ‘wasn’t happy’ but to only find out he was cheating on me, and is now sleeping with someone else!
    he is insisting he has our son over night/a few days and even asked for a whole week! I told him he is far too young to stay over night as he needs stability and to get to bond a relationship with him first. I told him let’s go slowly and gradually build once I feel comfortable. My ex was NEVER a hands on dad, always worked and I basically did everything anyway. He always used to pass our little boy over when he would grizzle or cry. So of corse I am also going to be very wary as to also how would he cope on his own with our little boy.

    I have asked him time and time again to come to see his son and he can spend the whole day with him and we can then also sit and chat and discuss Logan further. But he hasn’t bothered to show up, but still demands he wants him over night! He has now gone to mediation to have a meeting ( even though he could just be an adult and come and meet free of charge ). I have declined it as I have stated I cannot afford to do that, and I am STILL willing to meet up as adults to discuss this ourselves.
    What more can I do or say? It is like he isn’t listening to anyone but doesn’t want to squash his pride and still demanding having his son for a few days! I’m thinking about Logan and what is best for him at the moment and he doesn’t seem to take that into account.
    he hasn’t bothered to see him once in 3 weeks, although states he is ‘ heartbroken’ and still not a penny for him either!!

    #54951 Report

    Marr
    Participant

    Hi this is a situation that may take some time to resolve, patience and calm will be the way forward. Hopefully one day your ex will realise you’re being completely reasonable.

    You’re doing right by your son so never forget that. I hope for you and your sons sake things don’t become messy.

    I hope things work out for all of you.

    #54965 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    I always wonder…at which point have things become messy,officialy?Once a couple have messed up there’s rarely a tidy way forward.Have you noticed?

    #54966 Report

    Alexp1
    Participant

    It only became messy the day before I left which was the day he decided he ‘ wasn’t happy and hasn’t been happy for ages’ but then I find out he has been sleeping with someone else because he wasn’t getting the attention off me that other girls did which made him happy! That was his exact words when I told him I had been told about this other girl.
    so because I was looking after our son, he was jealous our son was getting more attention then if so he decided to go off and get attention off different girls!
    I have always kept the door open for him to come snd see Logan and spend time with him, but he hasn’t shown up in nearly a month now.
    just shows where his priorities where when we where together, definitely not with us, they were with other girls!

    #54985 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    I think a 4 month old baby is too young to spend overnight with dad. I have been through the courts and have had to wait till child turns 2 and a half. overnights has happened earlier than that but usually when both parents agree.

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