Consent/Contact Order

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  • #62667 Report


    Currently have a consent order in place. Was finalised in February of this year after a family court hearing and speaking to CAFCASS.

    However ex is already breaching the order, has openly said he can no longer make the agreed pick up time due to a new job, but also refuses to contact the courts to amend the details surrounding the consent order. It is only a half an hour difference at the latest, but he has said it could be anywhere within a 45 minute window of picking our child up. One of the reasons for the consent order was a consistent routine, and he’s now thrown that out the window. That has lead to me receiving verbal abuse multiple times in the last 2 days. This is on top of him not paying child maintenance through CMS for 2 months.

    Just looking for some opinions on this. I’ve been accused of being stubborn, as it is only 30 minutes. But my concern going from his history and aggressiveness is that if I let this slide, then he’ll start pushing the boundaries with other aspects of the the consent order as well.


    FYI, he’s also a complete narcissist who’s subjected me to 3-4 years of verbal and mental abuse, one of the other reasons for the consent order.

    Any advice and opinions please! Won’t take offence, need an outsiders opinion!

    #62677 Report



    In my early days of court hearings, I was once not allowed to pick up the kids as I was supposedly too late. was just childish vindictive games being played. I don’t think it’s realistic to keep on returning to court to make changes. judges told me they expect parents to be flexible in future. it can be difficult with new employers and child care duties. I lost 2 jobs because they would not accept me doing school runs. Would suggest to be flexible, even though you both don’t get along. If kids end up waiting 2-3 hours for him to turn up, then I think that would be unreasonable.

    #62681 Report


    Thank you for your feedback on the situation. This is what I suspected may happen. It may not be worth going back to court for, but it’s the verbal abuse I receive that bothers me the most.

    #62748 Report


    the court would consider if the change was reasonable

    the issue that you have as state is the history and the control associated by your ex

    my ex is the same only rules apply to me not my ex ,

    more importantly

    Keep a record of the abusive messages or conversations  and talk to a domestic abuse charity

    show the type of abuse to a friend to get their opinion as well

    this needs to stop

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