So it’s been nearly a year since me and my son’s dad split up really badly. And things have still been bad since. I’ve been finding more things out since etc… its took me a long time to be at a better place and move on with my life. I had like a rebound thing after him and to be fair it did help me move on a bit more. But after that I just wanted a proper relationship were I can move on. I am now in a relationship. I have been for around a month or so. But I’ve been seeing him or whatever since the start of March. Hes just everything my ex wasnt. Hes everything I could want really. Everything I could hope to find in someone new. And I should be happy. But I dont feel like i am. I feel like it has to be forced sometimes. The only times I’m happy with him is when I’m in a good mood anyway and its convienent for me or again, if I’m having to force it. I feel like I only speak to him and want him round or make any plans with him when I’m already in a good mood anyway and its convienent for me. If dont want to then I have to force my way through it until it’s over and done with. I have feelings yes. But I’m not IN love for anything. I’m not deeply into this. He on the other hand.. is. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’m not fully over my ex. But then I think that’s just an excuse. If I was really in love with someone new, then I know I wouldn’t give my ex a second thought. I feel like I cant end it with him though because i’ll be bad and I’ve lead him on etc…(which really, I have). And also I dont wanna be single again and have the worry of not finding someone new or good enough. I have someone in front of me now is more than good enough and my friends and family really like him and think hes really good for me etc… I could be making a huge mistake in ending it with him. But what about the fact that when I’m with him, I really dont feel completley happy with him. I really dont feel IN love with him. I feel like I’m with him just to say I’ve got someone and I’m not on my own etc…How do I go about this? Advice would be really appreciated please. Thank you x
Hi,I don’t think you’re fully healed from your last relationship,If your new relationship doesn’t give u butterflies in your stomach there is no point forcing yourself to love someone,because you will end up hurting him,He may be everything your EX isn’t,but you are not ready yet,try building a friendship first,but you need to focus on yourself,learn to love yourself,be the best mum you can be,don’t worry about being lonely, wen you lease expect it you will wake up and know when you are ready for a relationship,but concentrate on yourself and child good things will come.
This might only apply to me , when things were really bad in my relationship I was really like this. I decided to see my doctor when I felt I couldn’t get up in the mornings or shouted at my kids too often, I knew I wasn’t being myself . So I went on antidepressants for a while and no more inability to get up or needless shouting, I soon realised my relationship couldn’t be fixed though. Sorry for rambling , maybe what I’m saying is you maybe don’t feel like yourself and seeing your doctor might help?