Confused during separation.

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Li24.
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  • #5580 Report

    rae9437
    Participant

    Hi. So I’ve was in a relationship with my now former partner for 5 years. We share a recently 2 year old son together and I’m just after some advice. I’ll give a bit of back story first. As far as I was aware we were happy. She started a new job and in doing so met someone new. Long story short, she began cheating on me with this guy and he was doing the same to his partner. She just up and left without warning, contacted our landlord and told them we no longer needed our home without telling me and left me to sort everything out. She was going to fight me for custody of our son, but changed her mind and stopped getting benefits for our son and passed that right on to me as I am the unemployed/stay at home parent now. So now I have a place sorted for myself and my child and was having him stay with me the majority of the week and it was fine like that. She has recently let me know that now a few months into her new relationship she is pregnant again and is now starting to mess around with the days our son was staying with me. I’m not sure how to go about this now as she is cutting me down to 1 night a week. Do I go to a solicitor and get it all on paper what days and amount of time I expect and if so will I actually get it? Or is she going to get her way just because she is the mother? Any advice is welcome please just help me out somehow because in the long run it’s definitely not going to be good for our son. Thanks.

    #5596 Report

    Leopardspots
    Participant

    Hi

    That sounds pretty stressful.

    I had a bit of messing around with my ex on this, albeit with a lot of other issues, and the first thing I did was to try and get it in writing just between us. At some point he got a solicitor and kept trying to persuade me to get one too but it really made no difference who was writing it, as I felt confident with the terms I was agreeing/disagreeing with.

    If you can manage to get an agreement in writing between you two, hopefully it will stick. But if anyone deviates it can be kept note of etc so that if things needed to go further, there is evidence of who has/hasn’t been keeping to the plan.

    I’ve not had experience of family court myself but my understanding is that the aim is to give the child the most secure environment and access to both parents, without an emphasis on the mother.

    But hopefully if you get things written down then thing will come to an equilibrium for you.

    #5611 Report

    Li24
    Participant

    Hi There

    I would say try and get someone to mediate if possible. Maybe a mutual friend? Anyway – happy to chat if you wanted to discuss further.

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