Confused and Scared

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  • #40801 Report


    Dear All,
    I have never joined any forum before this is my first time of seeking for true advice and help.
    I met my husband when I was very young.
    We got married then I was naive young and in love.
    We have been married now for 14 years with 3 kids.
    He has been abusing me emotionally but I was in self denial for all this year’s.
    I was searching online and came across this forum.
    I am so scared to be a single mother of 3 kids and that is why I have continued to be with him all this year’s.
    I am so hurt and broken that I want to leave this man but don’t have the heart to as I am thinking of how the kids will take it.
    I also noticed he is trying to manipulate the children to take sides with him.
    I love my children so much and that is why I have been taking all his hurt.
    Please I need advice what do I do.
    what is the process if I want to leave him.

    #40802 Report


    ‘I just find out that I am pregnant 🤰 I had one miscarriage before in December and that was just accidental I went trough a hell when I lost my first baby. The babies dad happens to be my business partner we were attracted to each other for very long time and it happened. I got pregnant many people tells me to get read of this child. I don’t know what to do his father is cocain addict maybe he says that to me just to get me abort. I just got to uni I am 29 this year I wonder if I can make it is it the parenting is really that expensive? My friend told me to get read of it other people exactly the same thing. I don’t know what to do but I had depression after my miscarriage still do when I see little children I want to smile and I want to cry. I seriously don’t know what to do. Baby looks normal like a little dot . I even dressed up to meet my baby on the first scan I know that’s probably my depression and I have no support around me . My mother is psychologically abusing me makes me feel guilty ect I think she has authority disorder.’

    #40827 Report

    Hi there

    You are both talking about difficult situations and I hope that there will be other parents that can relate to what you are describing.  You are both in difficult situations and our single parent helpline may be able to help you to explore your options.  Here are their details and I hope this will be useful for you both.

    • Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered.

    Kind regards, Justine

    #40887 Report


    Hi. I’m in a similar position to you. I’ve suffered for nine years being unhappy and lonely. And like you I did this for the children. My husband told me at the beginning of lockdown he wants to separate which was like a kick in the teeth after all I’ve put up with. It’s it the worst nightmare for me. I’ve always wanted to have a happy family and I feel I failed my children. I just wanted to say you’re not alone in feeling scared, confused, sad and angry. I feel like this now. I also don’t know what to do but I do know I want whatever will happen to have as little impact on children. I haven’t got many people I can honestly talk about it or get support. It’s hard to make those decisions by ourselves. Let’s hope this forum (also first time for me) will help us find some support and guidance. Let’s also hope that at some point, whatever happens, well look back at this moment in our lives and feel it happened for a reason. Let’s also hope we’ll be truly happy then and have honest similes on our faces and a happy family by outside. Lots of love.

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