You have a valid point here and the message I would try to bring across to the father would be, you may be upset and you may want things to be different but you are only making things worse for our child if you enforce her wishes if you know it won’t happen. It doesn’t matter what you think is right or wrong. I explained that quite often to our son as well. There are reasons behind mum and dad not being together any more, nothing to do with you and as long as those reasons are still there, we can’t live together as a family any more but we are still family, just living apart and we will always be your parents and always be there for you. You probably can’t change her father’s behaviour,. Try to come up with something that gets the child out of the hole. It worked with our children and they get older and wiser. But if one parent really wants to be disruptive, it is hard, I know.