Complicated Contact

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  • #16860 Report

    Pembolina
    Participant

    Hi, I am new to this forum but would greatly appreciate some advice.  I split with my partner over a year ago and we have had 50/50 contact with our 3 yr old son.  I also have 2 children at home from a previous relationship.  My ex asked me to sign benefits over to him for our son when he moved out and I did because I claim for the other 2 children.  The 50/50 contact was arranged around my ex’s working pattern but I have felt that this was really disruptive for our son as he was swapping and changing every couple of days.  I did try to remain friends with my ex and I have had some health issues which is limiting my walking and he did help me a lot by coming round when I was having bad days.  Unfortunately I had a light bulb moment at the end of July, something happened that I can’t divulge on here but it made me realise that I have been manipulated for many years.  At this point I started distancing myself from my ex, only speaking about our son.  I tried to get him to change our contact so that each of our days would be together or start having him a week each, viable as we live in the same area.  He wouldn’t do this – said it could start in a couple of months.  Due to my trust issues and him blowing hot and cold I can’t believe this would happen.  Before the new school year started I was wrought with anxiety seeing him every few days and I almost had a full on breakdown, at this point I told my ex that for the sake of my health and all my children’s lives I needed him to have our son full time and I would have him 1 night and pay maintenence with the view of having him more again once I got better.  My ex is constantly digging me out for this saying I am a crap mum, when all I feel I have done is do what is best for all my children.  I have started the process for mediation, I am getting support from a domestic abuse charity and support from our son’s school.  I am so frightened that if I go to court with this that my ex is going to use my near breakdown to define my contact with our son.  I cannot carry on only having him one night a week, although the situation right now is acceptable.  It’s only been 6 weeks and my ex has messed me about with contact threatened me with taking him away, put obstacles in the way of me applying for a passport by giving me a photocopy of birth certificate – basically blames me for everything that goes wrong in his life – I don’t need this on top of my health issues. All I want is to get better and have my son 50/50 again… does anyone think that I am going to have a problem with this?

    #16868 Report

    Pembolina
    Participant

    No written evidence, only texts between us??

     

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