No, it’s not okay. From the sound of it (with your other post as well), it would be useful to draft a co-parenting agreement with your ex – Google parenting agreement/parenting plan for details. It might be worth doing this in mediation/counselling so that there’s a neutral person telling him it’s not okay! With your teens, set a deadline that they have to call/text you by a certain time if they’re planning on staying over so that you’re not waiting around for them – after all, you could have made alternative plans to go out (once lockdown is over!) if you’d known in advance they wouldn’t be home. At that age it’s also important for their safety to know where they are – you need to know whether they’re safely at their dad’s, or whether you should be calling the police! After all, teens have been known to lie about their whereabouts, so it’s important that you both know where they are and what they’re doing. Anyway, it’s just inconsiderate of him – how would he like it if you didn’t let him know that you weren’t bringing the kids to his place while he was sat there waiting for them?