Co-parent bad mouthing the other

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  • #64315 Report

    Scarlett2022
    Participant

    I am looking for a bit of advice on how to deal with my ex-husband saying inappropriate things to my 7 year old daughter about me. 

    We met in 2003 when I was 16, he was 21. Married, daughter in 2014 and then separated in May 2016. He filed for a divorce in August 2016.

    He has always been extremely bitter about the divorce. I think in his eyes I was at fault for not putting up with his emotional and financial abuse.

    My daughter has been extremely anxious the last few weeks when she comes home from his.

    She is crying, doesn’t sleep and says she has a bad belly.

    She has told me that it makes me sad when I am mean to her dad because he’s a good guy and doesn’t deserve to be treated the way that I treat him.

    She also said that the reason that I am so mean to him is because he settled into our first house (in 2009) before me and I’ve been mean to him ever since.

    This behaviour is having a negative impact on her. She is constantly unhappy.

     

    Has anyone had experience of dealing with this before and what can I do to help her?

     

    I can’t not challenge him on any of this because he will become aggressive.

    Thanks

    #64403 Report

    Sunny98
    Participant

    I am going tbrough something similar. My ex-husband seems to have developed a recent hatred towards me for no apparent reason despite us being divorced for years and him being settled in a new relationship. He has always had contact with our sons but never played an active parental role or supported them in anything. Lately he is filling their head with things about me and they seem to be falling for it. They are teenagers so it is a very difficult and impressionable time and I worry about the long term consequences.

    As you mentioned, I’d love anyone’s advice on how to deal with this

    #64404 Report

    Scarlett2022
    Participant

    It’s just a bizarre situation isn’t it? I just assume that everyone wants a quiet and peaceful life.

    He decided to leave and file for divorce and yet I’m the one in the wrong!

    I’ve spoken to a few other single parents I know, they’ve suggested making a referral to mediation.

    I’m also going to speak to the school and see if they can offer support.

    I don’t know this man anymore. We’ve both moved on with our lives and yet he seems hell bent on using our daughter to hurt me.

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