Is there many people on here that use cms? I’m a receiving parent and have been using for almost a year now when ex started paying it he would pay literally first thing in the morning now he plays mind games and pays it when he can be bothered usually on the right date but has told me this month if he chooses not to pay it on time he has 5 days and there nothing I can do about it. Cms recommended standing order as method of payment yet he refuses and does it as bank transfer with a comment of ‘BOYS MAINTENANCE’ every month now yet when he first paid it was ‘maintenance’. How do other parents receive theres transfer or standing order and is it first thing if transfer or within certain date.
Don’t take any notice about the narration of the maintenance payment ie boys maintenance. Your ex thinks he’s being clever by trying to wind you up. It’s just control that’s all.
Re the date of the payment, depending how you agreed payment, if it was through cms and not privately between yourselves, he has to pay on the due date.
It is through cms but I get frustrated that he pays it when he feels like it surely he should just set up as direct debit or standing order it is all about control with him.
With some ex partners the reason they act as yours does is because they’ve lost you, have no control or are out of control themselves that they desperately try to find a way to control.
If he’s not paying when he should then contact the cms, they’ll help and advise the next step.
For what it’s worth, not all men are like this. Your ex and mine are, but after the time I’ve been apart from the ex I just dismiss his behaviour.
He pays it but his control is the time. when it was first set up it was in the bank first thing but now it’s a case of when it suits him and this month he has already said I have 5 days from the date set it’s due today.
I phoned the cms to see if they can change it to come straight out his wages so I don’t have this every month and it’s only if he misses a payment or pays the wrong amount but they did say they advise them to use direct debit or standing order and that it’s a very common conflict matter as it’s there way of still having control and power over us.
I have I realise that he’s always going to make everything difficult so I just have to ignore it until he grows up and takes responsibility for his actions.
What like **** off out my life when he paid 1/2 towards the divorce for his adultery and he told me the reason he puts BOYS MAINTENANCE is because he wants to annoy me and the reason he sends it at whatever time he wants is because he can I know people think i sound like I’m being pathetic and worrying over trivial things but believe me I withold so many details as it’s all getting too much
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