CMS are no help.

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  • #56414 Report


    Hello all

    I’ve been having alot of trouble with the CMS recently either ignoring my case or not getting back to me.

    Basically I have a little girl with a woman who I was with for not very long and we haven’t been together since before she fell pregnant. My little girl is now nearly 6 now and it’s been a massive up hill battle with the mother the entire way. First I couldn’t see her and I lost out on the first 3 years of her life. Then she decided it was time for me to see her.  since that time I have paid maintenance every month with out fail. I have had her every other weekend and every Wednesday for the past 2 years or more. me and my partner are now having another child and we wanted my little girl to be with us more often so she could have the best experience of being a big sister. With the days me and the mother agreed on  it ended up us having right down the middle 50/50 shared care. The CMS notified me that she would no long receive maintenance. When I told the mother this was the case she quickly retracted the agreement for 50/50 shared care. Now the summer holidays are coming up the mother has now told me that the days I have my daughter I must pay for child care because she’s my responsibility on them days when I only ever had her in the evenings after school. And nursery. Now CMS say different and tell me that that’s what CMS is for. I can’t afford to pay maintenance and pay for childcare in the weeks and have my daughter over night let alone to have any money left over to do anything with my daughter or buy her anything.

    I’m just looking for some advice or if anyone is in the same boat to shine some light on how they delt with there situation.

    To condense, although I pay maintenance the mother still insist on my paying for all childcare costs if I want to see my daughter. I have all her own clothes and school uniform and make her lunch for school on the days I have her .(of which I’m happy to do) but struggling now with with the demand of extra care costs during the holidays when I still pay maintenance. Especially with another baby on the way and a house to pay for.

    Any help will be much appreciated.

    Cheers guys 😊

    #56417 Report


    That’s tricky because the advice from CMS seems nonsense to me. Your ex could technically take her out of childcare on the days you have her and say she’s not paying for those days anymore as those days are your responsibility. She doesn’t have to pay for the holiday childcare with the maintenance money, so you are sort of stuck.

    How much maintenance do you pay and how much is holiday childcare?

    Do you want 50/50 custody? Because you could always fight for that and then not have to pay maintenance at all.

    #56418 Report


    The CMS say different. They say that all childcare costs are to the primary parent this is why I’m so confused. I get told one thing and then another.

    I pay the amount that’s has been calculated to the nights I have my daughter and my income. 50/50 primary care means we both pay equal because we have her Equal amounts. According to CMS it’s the primary parents duty to pay for all childcare costs and because she receives maintenance and wants to have primary custody surely it’s down to her to sort the costs of care or then il be paying for the 170 days I have her now and still pay nearly 100 pound maintenance a month and then child care costs on top of that. She expects all the money and for me to pay for everything else in-between also. If I don’t pay for the extra child care then I don’t get to see my daughter.

    #56419 Report


    I also tried to get 50/50 and was all agreed amicably, until she found out she wouldn’t be having maintenance. I can’t be expected to pay maintenance and every other cost on top aswell it’s unfair.

    #56421 Report



    in this situation you may want to think about getting a consent/court order for equal 50/50 care, then that way CMS will not dispute that. as she’s primary carer, then your expected to pay her maintenance, and you get reductions based on the number of nights you have the child, as CMS expect you to cover any child care costs while the child is with you. when is your child due? later you can tell CMS there is another child living with you, so they give you more reductions. Ideally I think you would be better off getting a court order to settle this issue.

    #56423 Report


    Cheers Steve

    Yeah I think that is what I will do in the end I just wish it didn’t have to go that far.

    I know all about deductions. I’m not looking to make deductions. but it’s not that I don’t want to pay anything if she is primary I’m happy to pay maintenance. But I don’t see why I should pay for care when it’s only the evenings I have her in the week she will need care.

    The mother wants all the money from the maintenance and then for me to pay for child care costs on top of that and it’s not feasible.

    Thanks for your help

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