Child’s parent not turning up to arranged visitation

[Corey_m]

I have arranged visitation days for my ex to see my child. The parent rarely sticks to the days most times giving me less then 3 hours notice to make arrangements to pick her up from school or to find a family member to mind her while I’m in work. I did have a child order saying my ex is to see my child a few hours but child service worked to make a plan that is now in place. The rare times my ex does have her end with me being told they cannot drop her off like my ex is meant to. The times she is dropped off my ex shouts and uses abusive language in front of my child. Today my ex threatened to not bring my child home on a day next week. The court order says my ex is not to have her overnight until she has her own house and at the moment she is sofa surfing. I’m not sure what to do

[Kathymumofone]

That sounds awful. Stressful & Impossible to settle into a routine.

Are you in the UK?  if so, an access order is about when you must make your child available for the other parent to collect. Neither you nor the court can force them to turn up.

is the breakup recent? Is the ex angry that living arrangements have turned out as they have? Are they doing it intentionally to upset you? Are things likely to settle down? Is your child old enough to understand what is going on or still a baby?

I would Document the shouting & threats, and every time they don’t show and you are left struggling for cover at short notice. If it hasn’t settled down in a few weeks,I think I’d go back to court and ask for supervised contact at a contact centre. 💐

[Corey_m]

Thanks so much for the reply. I’m in the Uk. The breakup was over a year ago and at this point it seems like my child is just being used to get at me. my ex wrecks whatever clothes and shoes I put on my child and now and complains that I have a set pear of cheap clothes for the day they meet. My child is three so she sort of knows what’s happening she sometimes tells me she doesn’t want to go to my ex and sometimes mentions my new partners name to my ex and instead of being happy for my daughter because she likes my partner she uses this against me. I have all the texts saying when she can’t pick her up and telling me I have to pick her up early. Child services stopped being involved late last year saying there was nothing more they could do and since then she hasn’t had my child a full week (might of been one full day since December she’s meant to have her 4 days). Thanks again

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