Children visiting their father
4 March 2018 at 3:44 pm #8301
almost 2 months ago my partner cheated on me and left out of the blue. He has cheated in the past and even has a child the same age as our youngest with another woman (i found out about this when i was 6 months pregnant) he has had issues with drugs in the past and he still smokes weed. He has moved the girl he cheated on me with into his new house where her children visit aswell and she also smokes weed. For the time being i have said that he can only see the children at my house or at his parents house as because of all the lying i cant believe a word he says. Obviously i don’t really want this new woman around my kids but it doesn’t look like she is going anywhere any time soon. What i would like some advice on is whether people think I’ve made the right decision in not letting the kids round his new house for the moment, i want to make sure my personal feelings aren’t clouding my judgment. Just to point out that any time he wants to see the kids he is welcome to and as soon as any plans i have made are cancelled i let him know incase he would like to spend extra time with them.
Thanks for reading
x4 March 2018 at 3:52 pm #8302
This is perfectly right. If he wants to make a fuss about it he can pay to take it to court but he won’t get far because under the child protection act 1989 drug use would prevent the children going to his house and they would almost certainly insist on a contact centre for a period of time (say three months) before knowing he can be trusted with the children on his own. If there is an indication of drug use (they can test before access), this will be reported and contact possibly denied. They care only about the children’s welfare, not yours or his. And btw, you could certainly anonymously raise your concerns about her children visiting as well. I think I would if it were me.4 March 2018 at 4:32 pm #8303
Thankyou. I’d rather not put my kids through the hassle of going through a contact centre if it can be avoided it’s nice to know from an impartial party that I’m doing the right thing.4 March 2018 at 4:46 pm #8304
The point is I suppose where will they meet him and will it be without you? Does he smell of weed? Does he deal (you might not know)? Where will he take the children? Will it only be at your home? Will you be there? Will he smoke it while with them? Will he turn up (partially) stoned? You might have to be careful. Children can be influenced by this sort of stuff at any age.
Others will have other opinions, but you’re doing what I would do and the minimum the courts would be worried about.4 March 2018 at 5:04 pm #8305
At the minute I’m always in when he is here and if he takes them out his parents are there. He hasn’ smelt of weed when he’ come to me I think he mainly smokes at night. I know I need to get over the emotional fact of a person I considered a friend would sleep with my bf and now gets to play happy families with my kids but I just needed some reasurrance that what I’m doing now is best for the kids4 March 2018 at 6:10 pm #8308
I have a good relationship with his parents and they aren’t happy with his behaviour either so I trust them when they say they will be there. I can’ believe this is all happening. Not the life I wanted for my kids or me4 March 2018 at 7:35 pm #8310
Quite possibly. Thankyou for all of your advice. I’ll take it all on board and figure out where to go from here.4 March 2018 at 8:48 pm #8313
Thankyou very much 😊