Children stay with me ?
25 March 2020 at 6:01 pm #38313
Good Dad- thank you! I’m actually in tears to hear someone say this. I’m happy for our child to be on some form of video chat all weekend with him or give up future weekends- just not jeopardise us now. I wish more doctors were weighing in on this so that the message is clearer about why you might move or not move a child between two households.31 March 2020 at 8:24 pm #38581
GoodDad- or anyone else – can you help? he’s refusing to negotiate on seeing her – saying it’s either this weekend or next. No options – even with me offering weekend swaps and FaceTime. I’m in tears.31 March 2020 at 9:01 pm #38582
I decided myself that it wasnt safe to send my child to ex house as his partner is a carer so would be putting all of us at risk. My ex wasnt very happy about it but I tried to make him understand why I had made the decision. I said to him that he can phone or video call anytime he wants until this situation has calmed down. I wasnt making the decision to be awkward or upset anyone as I could do with a break sometimes but everyone’s health is so much more important at the moment. You have to be strong and do what is right to protect people involved and there is no easy option in this.31 March 2020 at 9:56 pm #38583
I’m finding it very hard because he’s giving me a binary choice of either this weekend or next and no speaking. I think I’m going to have to speak to our GP (our child isn’t even registered at his), and a lawyer. I’m so upset as I’ve offered every option and he won’t even discuss them.31 March 2020 at 10:17 pm #38584
If you are the main carer for your child then you can make the choice. From everything I have read I can only see if it is putting people at risk it is not worth doing it. I tried discussing it with my ex and every time I just got a reply saying she is my child and I’m not going without seeing her but in the end I just didnt give him the choice. It’s not nice for anyone in this situation but the health of your child and anyone else involved has to come first. Even reading stuff about ex partners wanting to take people to court over this but what judge in their right mind would take side with putting people’s life at risk. You should try speak to citizens advice or maybe family lawyer if you ca . In the end I just made the decision myself because I stressed so much worrying about how I would feel if I sent my child and she got il . I really hope you get something sorted so you can get on with dealing with everything else during this difficult time31 March 2020 at 10:26 pm #38585
I am also a part time teacher so last week my children went to school 1 day and their dad’s 2 days whilst I worked. I had to change my work hours to 3 days instead of 2 due to their school opening time. Anyway, I had a massive meltdown taking them to school on Tuesday and I was sent home early due to lack of students and was allowed to work at home the rest of the week. This enabled me to get my food shopping done and also shopping done for my elderly separated parents who have no one else to help, all whilst also working from home. My ex works as a career in the homes of individual disabled adults and din’t have many shifts last week other than the day we sent the children to school. My school have allowed me to work from home this week so I cancelled school and had them with me today but they have still gone to their dad’s tomorrow whilst he is off work and I am working from home. My view is that they are safer with him that going into school. I am not sure what will happen after Easter with my school as I may get put on a rota to work in school or in our residential home as it is a special needs school. My ex lives alone and so do I, other than our children. He has another child who’s mother has refused face to face contact since this all started. The way I am trying to see this is that if we both still lived together the risks would be the same as us being apart – him working his shifts and me potentially working mine, getting essential shopping for myself and my parents. So currently I am ok with him taking the children with him. It is allowing me to do those shopping trips alone and to drop things to my parents. I try and get all 3 shops done in one go but my dad has mental health issues (OCD) and only eats specific foods (certain brands of tins which are hard to get at the moment) so I am having to visit several shops to make sure he has enough food. Prior to this he would not eat in the house and only in 2 specific cafes that are now closed. It’s exhausting sorting my parents out and my children whilst also working from home.
Hope this doesn’t sound rambly. I think each situation needs it’s own consideration as to whether your children should move between homes or not. If my ex worked in a higher risk job such as the supermarket or a hospital then I would have a different view but he is coming into contact with a few individual clients who are housebound. I am dreading having to go back to work physically rather than working from school and clashing with his shifts meaning we must use the school. There aren’t many children in school from what I understand but 5 other children and their families and staff who are also taking their children to school seems higher risk than my ex.31 March 2020 at 10:41 pm #38586
This is good to read from someone in different situation. It is a really hard time for everyone and each case definitely has to depend on the families involved. Keep safe everyone1 April 2020 at 12:18 am #38587
You are welcome Kyle, hope everything goes well for you and kids.