Children refuse to spend time with absent parent.

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Kathymumofone 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #25730 Report


    We have a Family Agreement so no Court Orders involved.

    But now my Ex is leaving her Mental Hospital and found a two bed place. The children (resident with me) say they do not want to spend time alone with my EX.  They are 11 and 13 (m&F).

    I am happy to respect their decision as after an absence of 6 years it will take time to get to know their other parent that at present is letters, phone calls and a supervised meeting during a day each holiday.

    I am advised by a Mental Health Charity that it would be unwise to allow unsupervised contact given the mental condition and still being Sectioned.

    Any advice?

    Hello solo mummy!


    #25756 Report



    I would suggest then that either a third party supervises OR you go a ore formal route of offering similar level of contact in a contact centre. Increasing the contact over time is then a possibility if the indirect contact is also maintained and the centre a success. Eg if was once every school holiday they had a face to face contact, perhaps starting that now and then say another visit in 4/6 weeks, let that continue, then if successful increasing the frequency.

    #25759 Report


    Can you involve other members of her family, for example have an aunt take them all for a welcome home meal, or take them shopping to choose something for her flat.

    Involving wider family and gradually building up contact, as solo says. Maybe set up a FaceTime session or two, even if it’s only 5 minutes. Help your dcs to think of things they can talk about or show her, in the first one, just to break the ice. Maybe share some photos.

    it’s in your dcs’ future interests to have a stable mum,  so doing a little now to help her find her feet would be kind and worth it in the long run.

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