Childhood depression

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  • #28133 Report


    Hi I’m not really sure what to write here so I’m just going to say a little about my situation, I’m a single mum of 2 my eldest he’s 14 my daughter is turning 12 next weekend, I work 15 hours a week from 3pm till 6.30pm I know this is difficult for my daughter as I’ve always been there for her after school, I found out that my daughter is depressed, we touched on this subject before, as my daughter was being bullied at school, which to my knowledge is no longer happening,

    Yesterday I found some notes she had written as I was closing her window, about depression and self harming, she hasn’t done anything as yet, My daughter is shut down she won’t talk to me and always looks sad and is tired all the time, she lies to me just little silly things she doesn’t need to lie about, she didn’t tell me where she was going and used to go to her friends without asking after school as I’m at work so I’m not there, I don’t have a choice I have to go to work I hate leaving them, I’m considering getting some child care as I can’t ask for help from my family as they are dealing with there own problem ( which I’m not going to get in to that now) tonight I decided to write little post it notes with positive comments and I have written her a letter to let her know I am here for her, as she’s at her dads this weekend, the biggest change that’s happened is me going back to work, I’m unsure whether I should quit and be here for her, I’m looking for work in school hours but it’s very difficult and I love my job. I suffer with depression my self so I know what’s she feeling, I’m just unsure what to do,

    any advice is welcome


    #28145 Report


    Hey lilypad09

    I had a similar thing with my daughter whose 12yo this last school year. There’s a number of things that I did to improve our situation. I started swimming once a week (lane swimming) with my daughter (quality time just for us), leaving my other children at home. I discourage her from spending too much time on social media and arranged for her to camp in the garden with her friends (so increasing face to face contact as opposed to social media).  My son (15yo) has a fantastic social group (ice skating) outside school, to the point he doesn’t see his school friends during holidays, that has its benefits as he’s never without friends.  I think school have a place in offering support too, most high schools have pastoral teams and they are good for support during term time. I think the key to improving the situation for my daughter was just being there for her, doing activities with her. She just needed my time. I’m planning to teach her to use the sewing machine this summer hols as she’s quite creative, she’ll love that. She loves drawing too, so I’ll prob take 2-3hours and a picnic to somewhere and just lie on the blanket and draw with her away from all technology and fast paced life. I believe that the greatest ‘gift’ we can give our children is our time, you just need to work that around work. I work 30 hours weekly and have 3 children (7-15yo)

    #28148 Report

    Hi Lilypad09

    Thank you for posting this on the forum.  I hope that some of the suggestions offered already will be useful for you.  There are some agencies that you can contact regarding the concerns you have for your daughter.  They will hopefully be able to explore your options.

    • Young Minds – they have a helpline to advise parents of children who have mental health problems on 08088025544

    There is another agency that you daughter could use.  They have an online counselling service and may be useful.

    • Online Counselling services for range of issues for young people. Inc: feeling low, being abused, relationships, self harm, eating disorder, bullying, sexuality; gay, lesbian feeling confused

    Hope this helps, Justine

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