Childcare arrangments

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    My husband and I separated five months ago. He wanted as much time with our daughter as possible. Initially, while we were living under the same roof, he suggested I have my daughter Wednesday pm-Saturday, and he have her Sunday-Wednesday am. He suggested this because my daughter goes to nursery Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays and due to my crappy income, he said he would pay two and a half days nursery fees and I would pay half a day nursery fees. This seemed fair at the time and I really had no choice but to accept because I couldn’t afford to take on anymore of the nursery fees.

    However, since then I have taken on more work and have moved out. Financially, I’m utterly screwed but it is what it is. My husband is still adamant he wants my daughter sun-wed but now wants every other Saturday too. He is trying to increase his overall time with her so that it exceed 179 days… which then gets him out of paying any maintenance towards my daughter.

    I don’t know what to do. I hate the current arrangements as it means I never get Friday or Saturday free, so it makes it impossible to establish a social life. As well as that, I need the maintenance for my daughter (I’m currently -£7000 at the end of each year, living as simply as I possibly can). I don’t want my daughters weeks to be higgledy piggledy with toing  and froing  between mine and her dads mid week the whole time but do believe it’s importsnt for her dad to see her often. That said, I’m loathe to spend more than 3 nights at a time apart from my girl.

    I wondered if anyone else out there is managing a 50/50 split with their ex-spouses and if so, how do you split the week to achieve this?

    Thanks x

    #30348 Report



    I just came out of court this week devastated. I didn’t have representation as I’m in a much lower income than my daughter’s father who came with an army of lawyers. I lost my case to relocate just 30 minutes away from the fathers current home because his barrister was framing me as trying to separate our daughter from her father while I had proposed an increase in time that we would spend with him. The Judge had allowed my daughter to alternate nurseries every day (as per her fathers request) and allow a 50-50 split while she’s just 2. We’ve then discussed that we could alternate the weekend each with her and worked on that basis over a week 1 and week 2 schedule and split the week days so that the longest she’s away is 4 nights which I’m dreading but don’t have any other choice…

    #30353 Report


    This sucks 😞 I’m sorry you lost the fight. It seems to me that it’s going to be a lot of going back and forth for your daughter.

    As for spending four nights apart, initially this filled me with dread to but you get used to it slowly. It’s just really lonely at times.

    I really hope it all works out for you 😞

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