Child maintenance

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  • #10832 Report


    Hi, this is the first time i’ve posted on here so bear with me. My ex has had nothing to do with my child for a few years, I had to leave town because of his abusive behaviour and he has never paid any maintenance. My child was in hospital last year and diagnosed with type one diabetes. I contacted him via facebook to tell him she was very ill, and he never even asked how she was doing, just said ‘thanks for letting me know’. The CMS have been chasing him for a very long time, he doesn’t pay anything. Now they have said because they can’t get an address for him, they can’t do anything more.

    I know he does everything in his power to avoid them and works self employed for cash, so he doesn’t declare he earns anything. I have tried everything. I don’t know what more I can do. His family obviously know where he is but they won’t tell.

    Is there anything more i can do? Or should I just cut my losses and give up? Obviously, my daughter gets some help from DLA because I had to cut my hours at work for her hospital appointments and treatment. I work 3 days a week for minimum wage in a preschool. I am also doing a degree to try and get a better job with better money but at the moment, it’s a huge struggle every day.


    Thank you

    #11220 Report


    Hi Shelleygal,

    I hope your daughter is doing ok? It’s a lot to deal with on your own. There is no doubt that your ex is a selfish, inconsiderate and inhuman person. To not contribute to his own daughter’s upbringing is disgraceful. Thats a hellish situation.

    I don’t understand people like that but it does seem to be very common.

    I work FT with 2 kids and my ex contributes very little of his actual earnings as he’s also self employed and puts only a tiny amount through the books. So annoyingly I can’t challenge how much he pays without risk of it being reduced as he contributes voluntarily.

    I’m not sure what you can do in your situation as I’m not sure what options the CMS have at their disposal. I don’t think you should give up as he has a responsibility for the child that he has fathered. If he has nothing to do with her emotional, physical or social support then he should definitely provide financial support.

    Hang in there girl you’re a loving and supporting mother providing the best that you can and trying to better your future for both of you with your studies – I take my hat of to you!

    If it’s too emotionally waring to pursue him then leave it but if you still have a little energy then if possible you need to try and get his address so that CMS can track him. However with all of that said I don’t know what the legal repercussions are for non payment? I hope they’re harsh!

    keep your head up girl.



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