Child Maintenance Overpayment

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  • #63657 Report

    Gertrude
    Participant

    Another update for me: I received the result of my complaint about my year of overpayments and no surprise that they aren’t doing anything about it. It says on the letter the next stage is to write to some head of complaints. Just so tiring.

     

    I know it’s mentioned about being unemployed or changing jobs but I am not in a position I am able to do that at the moment. I have to fund everything myself I have noone else at present I can rely on. Not that I expect to at all.

     

    As for the mandatory reconsideration going forward, after me contacting them about this early November, they have actually only starting looking into it yesterday. I phoned them today and they told me that the resident parent is denying what the court order says. She is still lying to them and telling them that I don’t see my children. I have, once again, told them that I do and it’s all on the court order I have provided them with. So they are away now not knowing what to do. They actually sound like they will still believe her over a court document.

     

    Some people are just so full of poison that they would stoop so low as to lie to benefit from more money.

    #63658 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi, do you have any evidence of kids staying with you. should start taking pictures of you picking them up from school putting them to bed, time stamp pictures. gather evidence

    #63681 Report

    Mercury Dad
    Participant

    Hi Gertrude

    Its very tiring isn’t it, having to now prove you are a good dad that sees his children whereas previously it was always the case, all because the PWC says otherwise.

    You are right about the view they will take of the courts, they don’t pay them any immediate attention if my own experience and that of others is any guide, shameful bias they have and it never changes, that’s the amazing part! They will always cite child poverty or the need to provide for them as the NRP, they didn’t care about my ex living the high life and my kids having to make do, yet the media reports cases of child neglect and the parents are well funded.

    Its tough keeping going and chasing them and as stated before, each promised resolution takes you to yet another promised resolution and so on, the process never ends.

    Make sure they do what they say they will do, just stay on top of it, dip in now and again and if anything positive comes of it then its a win for you, don’t become emotionally dependent on the matter. Easy for me to say but i struggled for years with this lack of Justice and Fairness.

    Regarding your circumstances its a hard one and i stumbled into it, i don’t know if i would have been able to take that mental leap of faith to try and change things for the better at that time, after that i planned in another period of unemployment as had seen the benefit but it wasn’t easy. What really helped me was a countdown on payments, my ex told me i would always pay and when i said i only had 7 years left the look on her face was priceless, she hadn’t thought that through either and tbh it gave me strength.

    Remember its kids in a call center you are dealing with, they haven’t the skill set nor the resources to validate what they are told hence the bias that has grown as an organisational culture, and no i don’t care that they claim to help families, in my situation they simply made it and kept it worse.

    They are punishing us NRP’s as i’m sure they well know, none of us are happy nor do we accept what they say or do, it must change but after 20+ years it seems worse to me

    Best of luck and stay strong

    MD

    #64437 Report

    Mercury Dad
    Participant

    Happy New Year Everyone

    So over the festive period i received a CMO message asking for my bank details to pay me so i’m on the phone to them

    Typically they have asked i use the online system but as i haven’t an open case i am unable to send messages, funny how they cut you off from their help

    Hopefully its progress ie THE END although they haven’t said the amount,  the last i saw the over payment from November 2020 was never credited to myself but you never know

    Will post up the result

     

    #64632 Report

    Gertrude
    Participant

    Well guys just an update for me.

    1. They sent me the result of my mandatory reconsideration and accepted shared care element at my exes dismay having received a torrent of abuse from her.

    2. I just got the letter today and it’s saying I owe £1,065 in arrears. I do not owe any arrears and have been paying the amounts they have stated in every letter they have sent. I’ve paid the whole time during this mandatory reconsideration time which was 2 payments of the higher amount.

    Has this happened to anyone else ?

    I am just fed up with their incompetence. I am on a one way journey to having a stroke or heart attack. I can’t even get it sorted now until Monday as it’s the weekend. Do they just make these figures up ?

    Any help would be appreciated

     

     

    #64641 Report

    *deleted user*
    Participant

    There are a lot of angry dads on here and no women or mothers at all.

    I note that some of the dads if not all of them here ‘have no contact with their kids’.

    Perhaps they would like to ask themselves why  this is?

    Personally if I were a dad i would be overjoyed especially in the present circumstances of difficulties with the pandemic and higher education if my son/daughter had made it to university and would move heaven and earth to pay for them to do so.

    I really feel the moderators of this forum need to review this thread in terms of misogyny and sexism.

    In particular the comments about mothers.

    Fathers like this have an enormous amount of work to do to tackle their ingrained misogyny.

    ww.

    #64685 Report

    MJAG
    Participant

    I know exactly why I ‘have no contact with my kids’. It’s because my ex wants to cause me even more pain and is actively discouraging them from spending any time with me.  I deliberately made an offer of 55% of the joint assets to her to try and encourage her to be reasonable, and said I’d let her keep every single thing in the house if she’d just unbend a little bit and help them get to see me. She refused, just as she refused to compromise at all during counselling and mediation, all of which I paid for.  Before you attack all Dads please remember that there is usually fault on both sides in every relationship. I guess in your eyes I should have carried on being a victim of domestic violence – there’s little to no help for a male victim and we live in a society where any retaliation would be twisted against me: all boys are taught never to hit girls.  The police took photographs of my injuries for a prosecution but, again, I asked them to hold off if my ex would just show a little bit of compassion and think of our children’s needs to see both of their parents.

    I have paid every penny I was asked to, and plenty more besides, and was rewarded with my ex fraudulently telling the authorities that my eldest was still in full time education long after she had actually started her first job.  Overpaying in this way prevented me from taking on a mortgage – maintenance is deducted from your income in affordability calculations – trapping me in rented accommodation (that costs more than a mortgage would) for even longer. My ex actually said that preventing me from every owning a home again was her stated aim.

    But, please, tell me some more about how resenting unfair treatment is misogyny.

    #64687 Report

    Mercury Dad
    Participant

    Hi WW

    I note your view that there are no mum’s awaiting refunds from over payments, and would add that none have come here and said they have provided refunds after over payment.

    That being said this is a place for all to add their comments, experiences and views of the system we are burdened with, i don’t feel it benefits an already broken family. Yes there will be disagreement but this has been my experience. Money linked to access is a disgrace as it encourages abuse to the reported access to the child for no reason other than the parents aren’t together and suddenly the PWC gets to decide if you are fit or not to be a parent, its shameful behaviour that needs moderating, but that’s a whole other topic.

    For all too many of us this is a struggle against an unfair, biased, one sided process and for me that is the crux of the matter debated here in these threads. The behavior from the PWC is so ordinary, we have all experienced it, and yet they feel clever or better informed in using our children against us or to emotionally blackmail us for a better life or access to them. Like i say its all so ordinary.

    Sex is a key differentiator here i feel as when i was granted custody of my eldest daughter the CMO did nothing despite many calls, letters etc to get any maintenance from her absent mother, a poor situation at best driven by the fact that i am male. This reflects on your comment about sexism, it makes the NRP a cash machine at the beck and call of hypocritical system. As for misogyny, I’ve yet to see any here directed to women in general, anger at the ex partner and the system yes but no more than that. Plenty on here have moved on to better more meaningful relationships i think with a view to having their minds opened as to what a relationship can be and is, some haven’t.

    People fall in love easily and society tells us that love will conquer all, but that’s not true and only becomes a challenge when you are doing what you think is right or expected by society. Then its too late and you end up here, judged.

    I am pleased to read that children are doing well here from the cases above in these pages, i’m sure the other absent parents are too, but the point is we haven’t been able to work with and understand our children as people so its bittersweet in a lot of ways. I am more than able to love and support my child in higher education now i have a choice as to where the money goes to best help them, but time has caused a divergence here as a family.

    I will say your statement above is very judgmental and poorly placed, we all have differing reasons for not seeing our children and i don’t think its for you to question. For myself, if the children would only ask what happened and what the future holds for us i think that would be small but meaningful, however keeping the NRP away and being able to steer the child towards a different viewpoint seems to be the norm for many a PWC. Expanding on this my children have been taught that i don’t provide, not even from before the separation when mummy didn’t work for 7 years, not the house they lived in for 20+ years, or of the £500 a month maintenance, no that came from their unemployed mother who drove new cars, got glammed up and partied like there was no tomorrow while they lived very poorly with hand me downs and having to make do.

    I think i have covered off your post for the most part but do come back if there’s anything you feel i may have missed. After all you haven’t stated your circumstances or what has brought you here to this forum regarding CMO Over payments and Refunds, all i can see is someone unhappy and in that we are united.

    Best of luck

    MD

    #64688 Report

    Mercury Dad
    Participant

    Hi MJAG

    Really feel for you here, i’ve had a violent partner myself and its terrible, does make you see why people continue with these relationships when people tell you to leave, it so demeaning. Worse part is i thought it was normal and we’d be able to sort it out but no, drink, anger, resentment, a different point of view to hers and then she’d head butt me, that was me for a while.

    Again its the system working against you, you accept its over but that doesn’t mean anything to your ex, they focus on you as you were a possession not a person, and thanks to CMO they can hound you like never before.

    Keep the faith

    MD

     

    #64689 Report

    Mercury Dad
    Participant

    Hi Gertrude

    Really feel for you here as that’s a tough one

    Those people at the CMO call centers have a lot to answer for.

    Ask them to show where the underpayment occurred causing the arrears, ask them to pause any change to your payments until they have evidenced it to you. I was in the same boat when they had access to me for 20+years, never missed a payment, employed so declared income etc etc, tried it with me and i asked for them to provide evidence and they faltered as someone actually looked at it properly.

    I’ve stated above how i’d deal with this situation, get them to follow their internal process’ and take them to court, its free as they offer it. Start ASAP before it gets worse for you.

    all the best

    MD

    #64691 Report

    *deleted user*
    Participant

    Yes, it certainly does work both ways, ‘guys’ as you say.

    And there is more than one side to every story.

    I know it only took me EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS to get what I was due from my ex!

    w.w.

    #64702 Report

    *deleted user*
    Participant

    And yes, there are issues behind the scenes…as there are with everybody here, and not appropriate to share them all in detail, but best not to make assumptions!

    w.w

    #64730 Report

    Gertrude
    Participant

    Hi Mercury dad and to all others who have helped me.

    Thanks for your input it is much appreciated. I rang CMS today and got speaking to a very nice man. He was able to tell me that CMS have put me down as NOT paying a penny during the time the mandatory consideration was in progress. They contacted the PWC and she told them that I hadn’t paid, so they just assumed I hadn’t. I have uploaded my payment evidence and now await, yet again, a new payment schedule for the next 10 months.

    It is just as well I read the whole letter in detail and noticed it.

    Like most NRP, we do not begrudge paying for our children, we obviously want to financially help our children best we can but we also want to see our children and for payments to be fair. We are human beings not just cash cows. But the PWC use this system for financial gain, they know that by reducing the overnights the NRP has, the more money they get. The best thing in most cases is for children to see both their parents but until this system is modernised and changed, I can’t see the attitude of the PWC ever changing. And that is sad for all the children involved. Every circumstance is different, but this has been my experience to date

     

    #64747 Report

    Mercury Dad
    Participant

    Hi Gertrude

    That’s great news to hear!

    Trying to be upbeat and vibrant on here can be a challenge i know all too well, never mind muster up the enthusiasm to read the letters they send.

    We need to play them within their own boundaries but its made so difficult i know, checking where they get their information from is the first starting point always, they need to see that we are real people too, not just the name of the accused and to be told they have a liability.

    The bias we suffer as NRP is clear in your situation, not a single check or attempt at contact to ask if this was the case or to understand what was going on with the case from both sides before making a decision and pressing the TAKE CASH button. This is the crux of why I feel the way I do towards the CMO, a lack of checks and balances and the corrections are so slow to be actioned.

    Keep us posted on how you get on

    MD

    #64748 Report

    Mercury Dad
    Participant

    UPDATE

    Hi Everyone

    As I’ve posted already about my over payment/refund issue these past 3.5 years i thought i’d post up whats happened

    The CMO text’d then rang me and asked for my bank details and i discussed the matter with the her, Sarah. The amount isn’t what i was expecting as they have calculated it based on what i have paid against what they said i should pay, by my reckoning its two months off, but it is still worthwhile so i will probably take it and that be the end of the matter as i am exhausted by it all and am desperately trying to move forward.

    Should see it this week (or a massive theft by them!) and will post up when something happens

    MD

Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 83 total)

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