Child maintenance help

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  • #14655 Report

    LAURAEMILY84
    Participant

    hi all – this is my first post on here.

    I’ve applied to child maintenance who worked out how much he has to pay me for our children and he chose the date of the first of the month but his not paid me a penny! Cms say it’s still due but cannot chase it up as his appealing and urgent reconsideration of earnings – basically his trying to make out he less than he does as his using three months of payslips which don’t inc overtime, bonuses or holiday pay etc.

    Has anyone else been through this? Did they re calculate the amount even though a 25% difference in earnings? Can the cms definitely get your money or can this continue unpaid if he Claims he has a lot of outgoings etc? His trying to buy me out and can borrow more money so his pleading poverty to cms and well off man to finiacial advisor. Can he continue to get away with this?

    I left him as he was controlling and abusive and now the abuse is financial how can these awful men get away with so much? Why don’t they have a conscience

    #14657 Report

    jimmyjay
    Participant

    Hiya

    Same happened to me first CSA said i was entitled to ex amount then she contested it and i ended up with peanuts as she never done any overtime in the last 3 months. Now she does overtime as well as an evening job.I have to wait until January for them to review her salary which again i think she will contest it again or work less hours.

    #14667 Report

    LAURAEMILY84
    Participant

    Hi jimmyjay

    did you give cms anything to support the fact she earns more? I’ve supplied them with evidence he earns more. Do you know if the paying parents outgoings are taken into consideration ? I hate the fact it seems to give them so much time to do anything and then they take thier time too

    #14673 Report

    jimmyjay
    Participant

    Hiya Lauraemil

    Personally i think they are bias to fathers as was Cafcass ,didn’t seem interested told them i had text from her stating im working tonight etc but all that was said  was they will review it in January.

    #14679 Report

    LAURAEMILY84
    Participant

    Oh it’s so unfair – I can’t understand how they can just ignore things.  Hope you have more luck with the review in January – I guess the first year is the only year they can play havoc with money unless they loose thier job!

    #14758 Report

    spaniel101
    Participant

    Same here.  All ok for 4 years (ex self-employed construction), roll on this months Review ….50% increase in salary from HMRC…then came the delightful phone call from ex and CMS.  Following our delightful phone call, Ex suddenly reported ‘not working currently’ the following morning….. all because I wont accept ‘family arrangement’ of much lower (for life might I add), payments will be Re-re-calculated now before end of Review this month.   Thus, …..our next review…..will be August 2019.

    Ive delivered my letter to CMS detailing all such untruths, following ex’s phone call to me, and evidence otherwise (exotic holidays,etc)…but wont hold my breath.

    I guess a Variation/Supersession will be the next port of call before formal appeal is allowed  ???

    #14759 Report

    jimmyjay
    Participant

    All I wanted was for her to help pay towards my son counselling ( maybe  20 quid )which she caused  by walking out yet She mocked me but has money to go out with friends to the pub.

    I ended up contacting the CMS now she can’t understand why I grassed her up.

    Surly our kids should be her priority.

    Im totally frustrated why she has become so cold and heartless

    #14765 Report

    ekeaku
    Participant

    Hope you have more luck than I. Single mum to 4, dad pays absolutely nothing as firstly claimed to be self-employed and claimed to make peanuts, now says he’s unemployed , but can’t see his children over the summer as he’s ‘working’. Sadly it seems if someone’s determined not to pay maintenance, they can get away with it

    #14780 Report

    LAURAEMILY84
    Participant

    Honestly this is appalling! why do these parents not have a conscience about their poor children going with out it makes me feel so sad!

    I think self employed people seem to be able to get away with all this much more – however the cms are aware of this and can usually look into extra things if you have any proof such as ex saying ‘he cant have kids as his working’ or you know were he works, or if they have a house and a mortgage for example its obvious they wouldn’t have that if they earn peanuts – provide all details to cms no matter how petty you may feel it is.  My case will hopefully move to collect and pay soon but I have to wait probably 2 weeks for this at least but ultimately his going to have to pay as his p60’s show how much he earns.

     

    Jimmyjay – can you not get free counselling via the school? or via early help? my son does as he was so upset to start with and kept crying at bedtime saying to me ‘mummy I worry that daddy pushed you and was nasty to you’ my daughter told my doctor how I hurt my knee  ‘ daddy pulled mummy off the bed and hurt her knee’ my poor kids were seeing so much they needed help urgently, however since ive left they have both got much better and since they don’t witness it anymore they are much happier and now enjoy seeing their dad.  It makes me mad that after all my ex has done to hurt me and upset his caused our children he still thinks its ok not to pay maintenance.

    One thing I will say is all of our children will grow up loving us and see that we did our very best by them, we should be proud to be the good parents we are.

    #14781 Report

    jimmyjay
    Participant

    Hiya Laura

    He had draw and tell at school but wasn’t really helping him.

    My son who is 8 still sleeps in my bed every time I get up to use the toilet he thinks I’m going to leave him and he holds my hand in bet.

    I’ve tried to get him back to his own bed but he says “Daddy I can’t make you proud of me because I’m scared to sleep in my own bed “Told him I will always be proud of him no matter what he does in life “.

    Told my son we need to start getting you back in your own bed even if it’s only for an hour and will take it dy by day bless him.

    Told the ex this but she accused me  of playing mind games.

    Thank you for your help will look into early help contact.

    #14785 Report

    LAURAEMILY84
    Participant

    Bless him, that’s a great start though even a hour in his bed or maybe wait with him until his asleep in his bed. My son is 6 nearly 7 and is coming in my bed once a week as he tells me every night he misses me when I put him to bed so I try to comprimise.

    I’m sure she realises it’s not your fault at all and is trying to shift her own blame.

     

    #14786 Report

    TugaAmor
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    I am currently fighting my ex for child maintenance as he believes he doesn’t have to give a penny towards his two children and is not providing the correct earnings to Child Maintenance so I contact HMRC and they have advised of a service called Financial Investigation Unit within the Child Maintence that basically have the power to look into the father’s earning from payslips, bank statements and even contacting his workplace for evidence of earnings… the only problem is you have to be persistant to be put through to this team via child maintenance telephone number but it’s worth it’s while!!

    Give it a go! It’s for our children!

    hope this helps 🙂

    #14787 Report

    Gingey28
    Participant

    Baby’s Dad self employed, didn respond to CMS sending letters, put phone down on them and they assumed he was dad but he doesn’t have to pay as inland revenue calculation show he doesn’t earn. Course he does but I got told noting  they can do what a joke I wasted 4 months and 20quid on that service. He said I lied about him being the father and called me all kinds n he even got someone to txt and harass me but he gets away Scott free and I’m fuumin but what can I do

    He works earns, has a house, is with someone who has kids n he like a Dad to them and probs spends money on them but not his own son. Why he wasn’t made to take DNA test is beyond me

    #14788 Report

    LAURAEMILY84
    Participant

    🙌 thank you tugaAmor

    this sounds very similar to my situation although I’ve not been told there called this so maybe this is the next step? I was told my case is under “ urgent reconsideration” for re calculation but as I’ve already provided some payslips and bank statement s I had from our new mortgage application so they are looking into the amount. It’s just a shame everything takes an age to sort out!

    #14789 Report

    LAURAEMILY84
    Participant

    Gingey28 – there is a part we’re thwy can dispute about being the child’s father however they can then arrange a dna test

    im sure I’ve read about it online!

    These people who work self employed but still have a house, they clearly work and afford to do many things I think it’s then that you need to chase the child maintenance people and get any evidence you can to prove he has a house and is earning

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