Child exchange

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  • #34174 Report


    Hi all.
    I’m separated from my wife. Have an 8 year old boy and we share custody.

    Recently her new partner has sent me a threatening text. I now do not wish to have contact with him (new partner) so am not keen on our child seeing me tense around drop offs and pick ups. I have no confidence that the threats will not happen when my child is there either.

    Wife insists I do at least one drop off or pick up a week. She will not tell me if new partner is there or not. Says I have no right to know.

    I have offered to sit down and talk to resolve issues , offered to exchange at a neutral venue or to arrange third parties do it. She has refused all this.

    Now she wants to go to mediation about this (ironically it’s the only issue we have) and then court where she wants to get an order that I must go to her house.

    Any thoughts? I think two reasonable people should be able to sort this one out but losing faith in that now!


    #34176 Report



    Sorry if it comes across wrong but that is so unreasonable. You sound like you are trying your best and thats what you should continue doing. Your doing your very,very best in unforgiving circumstances. Your right,2 reasonable people should be able to resolve this but one (new ) person sounds like he wouldnt know what reasonable was if it jumped out of a bush,shouted im reasonable and proceeded to bite him on the butt. Do your best and keep any record of his behaviour. Incidently you do have the right to know if hes there or not due to his threatening text. He lost the moral ground right there!Oh and dont lose faith.

    #34182 Report



    Have you explained that if you go to court, you will produce the threatening text as evidence, and no court will force you or your child in to a situation like that. It will also demonstrate her refusal to compromise.

    Do her parents live locally? Or another trusted family member – sister, aunt?  Can you suggest a mutually agreeable drop-off point.

    I hope it gets sorted quickly.

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