Child contact & birth certificate

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  • #58846 Report

    MT4monk
    Participant

    My ex gave birth approximately 3 weeks ago. We both live with our parents and I work Mon-Fri 9am-5pm.

    I’d like to establish a contact order with the thought that this can be amended within 1-2 years and to be added to the birth certificate.

    My first thought is to search public birth records to discover my child’s details. From here I believe my available options are to consider mediation or submit a court order. I’m not strapped for cash and anticipate my ex will attempt to make things difficult and lengthy.

    My ex and I have zero contact and any communication would have to be through a 3rd party.

    Any advice, suggestions or insights greatly appreciated. This is completely foreign to me, the smallest piece of advice is welcomed.

    #58861 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    do you know where she lives? if not, then that means you could skip mediation. also with birth certificate, there is a form out there called declaration of parentage. form C63. for the child contact, its a child arrangement order, form C100 (costs £215)

    #58879 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    Hi MT4monk,

    so… it might be worth considering why you are not on the birth certificate & your ex has zero contact or communication with you, to find the best solution.

    generally… these situations are due to something significant happening. so it might be worth trying to explore accountability, learning & healing from this… instead of what reads like an attack with your wants as a priority only?

    Remember, kids are not objects to own, they are a responsibility to nurture; is it very nurturing or a great environment for a child to grow up in conflict or with parents who cant get past themselves to be on the same team?

    I wouldn’t recommend trying to go through any third party unless it’s professional, trying otherwise, especially after you’ve been clearly cut off could likely fit with harassment.

    charities like ‘relate’ can offer great support individually to help you understand what went wrong & the healthiest next step, they could also offer mediation as a safe place for you to potentially discuss what it would take to let you be a part of their life.

    If its going to be a difficult or lengthy process regardless…. would it not be a healthier path or better example to the baby of trying work on whatever lead to this situation & how to fix that so you can be a healthy support in their life?

    – we don’t often solve anything with the same thinking that got us into a difficulty. Maybe think about what type of dad you’d like to be… no child thanks their parent for conflict.

    hope this helps in some way.

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