child carrangement order
10 September 2020 at 12:29 pm #43730
Does any one have any advice about child arrangement orders? I want to minimise contact with my ex husband by having contact with children in writing but I had advice that even going through court and paying does not ensure he will commit to what has been agreed as there is not a way to enforce the agreement. If this is true then I am thinking I could save myself money and time by not getting an order…..
I have three children full time atm and the kids dad is having limited contact as he needs space!!! It actually makes it harder emotionally for the kids only having a few hours contact here and there and it means I cannot makes plans for the day as I am constrained by unrealistic time scales by my ex husband.
Any thoughts about what I ought to do or not do? I feel I am going around in circles and I need to move forwards.( This is a recent issues as we were sharing children 50/50 for 6 years until ex gremarried and has new priorities- I feel I am going backwards )10 September 2020 at 1:30 pm #43732
I sorted out a child arrangement order earlier this year because my ex refuses to speak to me.
My order states he is not allowed to phone me or go to my house and all drop off/pick ups will be done in a supermarket carpark due to his harassment of me and my other children. You have to try mediation before you can go to court unless there is history of domestic violence. At the first hearing you sit down with a cafcass officer and they try to get you to reach an agreement which in our case was immediately signed off by the court. If the agreement is breached and the court is informed they can be held in contempt of court and can be faced with fines etc.
It’s mostly worked in my case as i no longer have around 20-30 text and phone calls a day and i can only be contacted by email unless there is an emergency, he doesn’t respond to the majority of the emails i send which can be a pain.
If he’s trying to control your life by expecting to see the kids at awkward times it might be worth doing.10 September 2020 at 7:18 pm #43763
Child arrangement orders are a great way of minimising communication with your child’s other parent. They set out clear agreed times of contact, with whom the child resides and when the child will visit the other parent. I assume the children are school age from the 6yrs shared care comment. I tend to use school as a transfer point, so I drop off Friday, ex collects then returns to school Monday alternate weeks. We don’t see each other at all. We communicate by email maybe once or twice per year and that usually relates to medication dose change for my child’s epilepsy.
the CAO does not make your ex partner take care of the children, and you’ll be expected to pick up where they fail however, you can apply for an enforcement of the CAO if needed which costs you £215 (enforcement order). In reality there’s little consequence to the parent who fails to adhere to the order in my experience, other than contact gets stopped for a while to address the issues. The court can not make a parent want to care for their child and will not ‘enforce contact’. I’ve recently been successful in reclaiming the enforcement order costs from my ex partner for continually failing to adhere. He was involved in the creation of this agreement, it was based on his wishes not mine. I think the fine hurt him more than the lack of contact for 4 months if I’m honest.