Hi my name is kay. I have recently end my relationship with my sons dad 9months now. Iv not stop him to have a relationship with his sons. But for some resason this man does not want to come and pick up his kids on the weekend. Instead he seem to just want to call on the weekends to speck to the boys. He only live 1 hour away from my home. It hurts everytime my sons ask why he can not go to thier dad house. Im at a point where i feel tried and confused. My son behave is hard to deal with at time also. It hurts as a mother not knowing what to say to a 3year old child to make them understand why they can see thier dad. Iv even take action for him not to be able to call my phone by. Giving my daughter from a relationship before a phone so he could contact the boy in that way. Cause when he use to contact me on my phone the conversation will always end in him trying to put me down and make me feel less.
Hope your ok. Its not really for me to say as only you know him well. Sounds like hes trying at least a bit by phoning at the weekends but as you say if its going to end in abuse then thats not going to go to well. I know this going to sound crazy but have you tried talking to him and telling him the damage that hes causing? You dont need anyone to tell you how bad this is for your son and also for you too. If you guys cant find a way through that is a happy medium for you all then the battle will continue. Stop it now and say he needs to see them? Tell him the game is up. We done with this shit. Do or die. In or out. Sorry to be so course and i could easily be wrong and others maybe able to advise you better. Be stronger with the arse..
Unless he’s in prison, I’d set up an email address and tell him that all access arrangements must be organised by email in future. Block his phone. Block him on social media. Hang up immediately if he calls from another phone.
Access involves him collecting his child and taking him out. No other options. Does your ex drive? Can he get to you? If so wild horses wouldn’t keep any decent loving parent away.
If he’s going to abandon his son, better he does it now, while your son is still young enough to forget.
Also, if he does arrange to visit your son, don’t tell your little one his dad is due, in case your ex decides to let his son down.
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