I am after advise on which route I should take in regards to my children seeing there mother. The children live with me after there mum left 2 and half years ago. she comes and goes from the children and can go weeks without seeing them or asking how they are. At the moment she is demanding to see them with her on and off partner with whom she’s had domestic violence with and I have told her that I do not want the children around him which first response have strongly advised me not to let the children around him. First response also recommended me that supervised contact with the mother is a good idea, which we was doing but then she suddenly stopped asking to see them and now does not want to see the kids with me or another family member.
Mother struggles to cope with the children as they play up for her and struggles to control them and we did speak about a plan to gradually work her up to spending more time with the children via half a day – 3/4 of a day and then a full day but now is not interested in this idea as she seems to want them when it suits here.
I m thinking of child arrangement order would be the way forwarded as I m tired of having the same argument every time she wants to see the children on a spur of the moment or with her on and off partner. I understand that I cannot stop her seeing the children with her on and off partner if an arrangement is put into place.
Rather than you invoking anything more formally – at your cost as you would need to go via mediation before you could even apply to court etc – my suggestion would be to formally in an email right down your concerns. State that following advice from First Response (I presume to be safeguarding as they are in Bristol) that her partner is to have no contact with the children and that if he does that you will stop all direct contact with her. I would then also state that in the best interests of the children, to provide stability, regular contact and for the safety of the children that a contact centre would be best. This will cost though many offer discounts if in receipt of benefits etc and it would give her the kick up the bum that she either turns up for contact at the allotted time or forfeits it. You then don’t really have to be able to have contact with her in the interim, so could block her number etc and unblock on contact days.