Child arrangements shift work please help

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Child arrangements shift work please help

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Greggie123 6 months ago.

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  • #28151 Report

    Greggie123
    Participant

    <span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Hi all,</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>I’m hoping you may be able to help me come to an arrangement agreement with ex wife and see as much of my son as possible. I don’t want to be a weekend dad but also want to have the balance to have my time so I can move forward.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>It’s very difficult as I work shifts one week 6-2 Monday – Friday and then 2-10 Monday Friday.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>My son will be 3 in August so will be going to nursery 4 times a week.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Previously I made the most of shifts and saw him before of after work depending on shift. My ex has suggested the following which I find difficult especially on second week as I’ll miss him.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>The only alternatives are to change the below and agree or to speak to manager and ask for flexi hours ? Main issue is the late shifts afternoons 2pm – 10pm.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>What’s your opinion guys and gals any help suggestions appreciated I adore my son and will only be 5 mins walk from his nursery and only 15 mins walk from his mothers home, and approx 25 mins away when I’m at work. On a Monday 3 mins walk at my parents house.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Week 1 – 6 – 2 shift</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Monday – spends day with grandparents this is close to my work place only 5 mins away! 730am – 6pm i will drop son off at mothers 30 min away via car.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Tuesday -nursery 0730 – 430 mother pick up and have Over night.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Wednesday – nursery 0730 – 430 dad me to pick up and take for tea and drop home at his mothers at 6ish.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Thursday – nursery 0730 – 430 mother pick up and have Over night</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Friday – ursery 0730 – 430 dad me to pick up and have overnight then the weekend is spent over night with me.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Saturday – son with me day and over night</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Sunday – son with me day and over night</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Merging now into Monday which I start work on afternoon 2-10pm shift.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Monday 2-10</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>spends day with grandparents this is close to my work place only 5 mins away! So I can see before work till 2pm mother will pick up son from grandparents at 6.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Tuesday nursery 0730-430 overnight with mother</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Wed – nursery 0730-430 overnight with mother</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Thursday – nursery nursery 0730-430 overnight with mother</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Friday – nursery 0730-430 overnight with mother</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Saturday – weekend with mother day and over night</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Sunday weekend with mother day and over night – ( suggestion that I could pick son up and take to grandparents and they have over night ?)</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>This would mean no free weekends for me.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Merge into 6-2 shift for new week and repeat.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Any advice or help is appreciated just want a good balance and new fresh start and be close to my son. My ex has a new partner and of course I’d like to meet someone and socialise time to myself?</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Look forward to hearing from you</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>On another note I pay £180 a month to ex wife for son.</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box; outline: none; clear: both; display: block; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;” /><span style=”caret-color: #1a1f24; color: #1a1f24; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>G</span>

    #28174 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi, your post is hard to read with all the formatting but you seem to have two good weeks where you see plenty of your son and then a week when you don’t because of your shift patterns.

    Maybe look at what is best for your son. He’s 3 so his world is expanding, he needs to socialise with other children so he can cope with school at 4. You still see him for the weekend of your “lates” week.  Can you negotiate extra time to take him away on holiday?

    On money £180 is £6 per day which I guess has to cover half of clothes, shoes, toys, water, heating, laundry and any chargeable bits of childcare. ( if child benefit covers food.). Does that sound about right?

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