Child arrangements

[ManicaParticipant]

Hello,

After some issues I had with the father of my child I proposed the following :

– Monday / Thursday 9-6 (he doesnt work)

– Every other Sunday overnight (he has every other weekend off)

That way I would be able to see him during the weekend as I work Monday-Friday.

Before the separation our boy (2.5yo) was spending one day per week with his mum. I figured that since he lives with his mum they can share the day if she wants to or she can ask to spend more time some other time with him. From where I see it, the priority is for the parents to spend time with the child and the grandfamily can visit. I also live with my mother who moved to the country solely for the childcare for the first 3 years.

Am I being unreasonable ? I thought I am diong the right thing by giving him  the 2 days in the week and i will get the weekend?

thank you

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

It sounds fair but your ex needs some input as well. If he’s planning to study or work, then he may not be able to do those hours.

Has he responded or suggested anything different? You can’t really expect his mum to care for your child although it would be lovely if she wants to.

There is also the financial CMS  element related to where the child spends each night.

[ManicaParticipant]

No, he is not studying we are both professionals.

Sorry I wasnt very clear.. What he wants is the Monday/Thursday and also one day every other weekend, which I think it will be eating into out child`s time with me. I suggest he keeps Monday/Thursday and one overnight every other Sunday and leave me the weekends

I am not too worried about the CMS at the moment, i am just trying to agree a routine contact for our child that he will not change every week

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

so at the moment, he has 8 days in every two weeks to spend with your child and wants to move to 9.  You have 6 days, possibly moving to five. You have the early morning/evenings as well but for a 2 yo, that’s mostly sleeping, eating, dressing.

Yes, it doesn’t sound very fair for you. You don’t get as much quality time. Unless he is going back to work, I’d suggest keeping it as is until your son starts school at 4, and then reviewing it.

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

I would suggest keeping as you first outlined.

If he objects further then make the offer of help can have every other weekend,  plus a midweek tea visit. As is more typical for non resident parents.  Then he may see how reasonable your offer is.

[Author]

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