Child arrangements

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  • #26689 Report


    Hello, im only recently separated(about a month) we have 3 children- 9, 4 and 21 month old. He is suppose to have them this weekend, friday evening – sunday evening. He has been seeing them nearly every other day also- i drop off and pick up as he doesn’t drive. Anyway he only wants the 9 and 4 year old for weekend, saying baby is to hard. I dont know what to make of this? I think its crazy. Shes not hard shes a baby and does require our attention more then other 2 but still am i wrong? He’s angry at me for not understanding that shes difficult( i have her all the time)


    Any advice or wise words? Thanks

    #26701 Report


    Hi Mandy,

    I’m sure if the gingerbread team can’t help with recommendations then try giving these people a ring:

    Rights of Women: Free, confidential legal advice by telephone for women on a wide variety of issues. Specialist areas include family law and domestic violence.

    Hope this helps


    #26702 Report


    Sorry, this reply was meant for another thread!

    #26704 Report


    Hi Mandy. there might be several reasons your ex doesn’t want all three. He doesn’t enjoy the baby stage, he wants to take the older two out somewhere and taking a buggy/ baby makes that harder or less enjoyable. Or possibly if he’s been a bit controlling in the past, leaving the baby with you means you can’t have a evening out.

    No-one can force a parent to parent IYSWIM. You could insist that he either has all three or none at all. He needs to accept that you need a break, but equally he could then refuse to have any of them. Or he may genuinely not feel confident  with all three in which case he needs to practise. You can judge better than anyone.

    But you have 16 years of co-parenting to get through so I think talking to him and getting to the bottom of it is essential.

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